The National Football League has two big ‘parties’ every year where it gets to show off for the world. One, of course, is that American holiday known as the Super Bowl. Sure, it’s super, but in a way, it reminds me of that MTV show, My Super Sweet 16. (If you have never seen it, DON’T!) Basically, it’s a half hour of watching a rich, bratty, teen complain about her lavish birthday party—one that likely costs more than your home. Nothing ruins a birthday like getting a new convertible the wrong shade of pink! Anyhow, the Super Bowl’s similarity is that the ‘attention hogs’ for this party are the two participating teams. No love for the fans of the other 30 NFL teams–we don’t have a ‘horse in the race’. Speaking of the equine family, Browns fans like me are still waiting for an upgrade from the donkey the NFL gave us to follow back in 1999. For us, making the Super Bowl seems like some mythical adventure like The Matrix where we are waiting for a ‘chosen one’ to lead us out of our misery and into the promised land.
That leads us to the NFL’s other big shindig: DRAFT NIGHT. This is more like a Chuck E. Cheese birthday bash. Sure, the birthday boy gets all the presents, but everyone gets to have fun and play! Just stay away from the mediocre pizza. For the draft, every fan is into it because every team is involved. And every 1st round pick tends to yield a roar of delight or a groan of disgust from the fans.
The Browns draft this year was an extra special one due to an extra 1st round pick, the rare positive contribution of the short-lived Banner/Lombardi regime. Those two picks illustrated both the ‘broccoli’ & the ‘birthday cake’ that most teams serve up for their fans.
Vegetables. Some of you just got a scowl on your face just reading the word. But we eat them (or should eat them) because, as your momma says, ‘they’re good for you.’ The broccoli pick for the Browns was cornerback Justin Gilbert from Oklahoma State. ‘Who?’ is the reaction from 90% of us. Picking corners or linemen aren’t really exciting—how many Joe Thomas or Joe Haden jerseys do you see around the mall?—but ‘they’re good for you.’ You need good ones as a foundation for a winning team. But they make for pretty bland draft nights.
A few NFL teams serve their fans some birthday cake on draft night: picks that are delicious, but not always nutritious. Sammy Wadkins & Mike Evans were the sugary-sweet receivers that fans were hungry for after watching months of ESPN highlights. A trio of QB’s were also on the appetizer menu. But the Browns traded down their #4 slot for a future 1st round pick—kind of like getting a savings bond from grandpa as a birthday gift. Nice when your turn 18 and have bills to pay, but not a lot of fun to play with when you are 10 years old!
Thankfully, the Browns had an old savings bond to redeem from last September (thank you Trent Richardson!), and cash in they did: JOHNNY FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!! 
That pick was some Litty’s Birthday Cake (and it’s amazing frosting) with 3 scoops of vanilla, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and a cherry on top! I am not quite sold that Johnny Manziel will be a successful NFL QB, but he’s definitely not broccoli!
And so it was…the Cleveland Browns became the talk of the NFL. #2 Manziel jerseys were flying off the shelves (does eBay even have shelves?). Local and national sports talk shows were abuzz with the Brownies. Fans were putting on their Browns’ apparel for an early spring fashion show. And then….Josh Gordon. As the late, great Dandy Don Meredith used to sing on Monday Night Football, ‘Turn out the lights, the party’s over…” OIC—Only In Cleveland!