The Christmas presents of our childhood often tell us who we were (and are), as well as where we can from.  I remember my grandma-in-law, Thelma, telling me that as a child 80-plus years ago, she got three things one Christmas:  a baby doll, an orange, and a chocolate coin.  How would that go over with your child in 2014?   I am guessing the reaction of grandchildren will be a little different in 2094, when grandpa shares about only getting an I-phone, Beats head phones, an X-Box, two Under Armor hoodies,…

Let’s hop in the Hot Tub Time Machine and travel back to see what was under little Mac’s tree back in the days there were no kids’ shows to watch at night.  None of this Nickelodeon, Nick at Nite, Disney, Disney West, DVR, DVDs, VHS,…  You watched whatever was on, and you liked it!  And when this graphic came on the screen…

it was time to get out the popcorn out for a party!  And it didn’t come from a microwave, but from this…

Ohhh.  Joe Namath endorsed this!

Or maybe even this…

It was time to party because it was Christmas TV special time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  A kids’ show was on!!!!!!!!!!!  At night!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Charlie Brown!!!!!!  Frosty!!!!!!!  And my favorite, which I watched just last night with the kids…

Rudolph!!!!

His main squeeze, Clarise, sure was a looker!!!  Maybe I need to get my wife a cute little red polka dot bow to wear!

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1st stop, 1976.  Many of you boys out there probably had one of these two items:

Evel Kneivel rocked!!!  He jumped over busses!  CRAZY!

I even faintly remember watching a TV special where he was gonna jump over a pool of sharks!   SHARKS!!!  As in JAWS!  But he wrecked in practice, so it was a no-go.   Just did a google search, and sure enough, January 31st, 1977 was the date of the non-jump.  If only someone in the 1970s would have jumped over a shark!  Wait a minute…

FONZIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And he made it!  Nothing like water skiing in a leather jacket!  I seem to remember it being  a two-part episode, so I had to wait for a whole week to see if The Fonz would get horribly eaten to death or not.

My other memorable gift of the bicentennial year:

Who needs the Madden 25 video game when you could play Electric Football!!!  You would spend 15 minutes setting up a play, dialing those things (?) on the bottom to steer the buys at the proper angle,  Turn on the switch, and instead of getting the Chip Kelly spread offense, you would get a mosh pit!  Some kids even threw the little foam ball with the sling shot quarterback, but at our house, it was old-school, smash mouth, power football!  I actually had two of these stadiums.  Do you know that they still have an electronic football world championship?  It was just in Cleveland this past January.  That must have been a real crowd pleaser!

Let’s jump forward two years to 1978.  Nowadays, kids have their iPods and Nintendo DS.  Those had nothing on the technological magic that I held in my hand that Christmas…

This might be my all-time favorite present.  This game was super-awesome!  At first, I was upset when I got it.  What an ungrateful kid I was!  Shhhhhh!  Don’t tell my kids.  At the time, I really wanted the original white version…

I then learned a very important technological lesson.  Newer is better.  In the green sequel, there was one more button.   Look closely and you will see the extra yellow button.  You could pass!!!  Instead of forced to just do boring ground-and-pound Larry Csonka running, I could air it out like Brian Sipe or Dan Fouts!  I spent hundreds of hours playing this.  My friends and I would  have some epic battles during lunch and indoor recess during my elementary days!

About 10 years ago, I saw that familiar Football 2 hanging in a toy aisle at K-Mart.  That was in my cart in about 1.2 seconds.  Once I touched those buttons, it was like riding a bike.  My shake-and-bake Greg Pruitt moves came back to me in a flash.  My son, Drew, got the bug, and played it, but he could never beat his old man.  Unfortunately, my little brother, Jon, pulled out miracle comeback win over me on a vacation battle.  Being born four years later into a more advanced tech era, Jon always had an upper hand in any video game.

That same Christmas, I received maybe my most puzzling gift.  I was already a huge 8-year old Browns fan. Among the Browns’ things I had were a lamp (currently in my son’s room), radio, fake leather-sleeve coat, Greg Pruitt jersey, and a even a ring.  I don’t think I ever had my little brother kiss my ring like the Godfather, but in hindsight I should have had little Fredo do it as a sign of respect!

Back then, it wasn’t easy to get Browns’ stuff.  Stores didn’t carry very much of it.  And you didn’t have this Amazon.com internet stuff.  You could order something from a Christmas catalog, but would have to wait 4 to 6 weeks.  Remember the days when you knew your postman!  The true holy land was Sears.  They would have NFL stuff.  I was just in Sears the other day and found myself reverting back to my childhood mentality looking for a Browns’ belt buckle to add to my wardrobe.

Stores would carry stuff from other teams, usually the Cowboys or the–uugggggggggghhhhhhhhh– Pittsburgh Steelers.  Back then, kids would have back-up favorite teams, and mine were the Cowboys and Dolphins.  So that December, my mom and grandma were at Value City when they saw a rare find hanging from the rack.  A Dallas Cowboys’ winter coat!  I had worn out and grown out of my beloved Browns’ coat by then, so I was due for an upgrade.  This was such a great find that the two Joanies wouldn’t even put the coat in their cart.  Mom securely held it while walking the aisles just in case any suspicious poachers were on the prowl.

That December 25th, my mom was probably really pumped to see my reaction to her great find.  Maybe it would turn my frown upside down after I pouted about getting the wrong Mattel football game.  But when I opened the box and pulled out the blue jacket, instead of leaping for joy at the sight of the familiar Cowboys’ star logo, I asked this frustrating question…

“What did you get me a Baltimore Colts jacket for?!?!”

Poor Joanie.  How could something so right go so wrong?  I forgot that my mom’s passion for the NFL didn’t match mine.  Cowboys ride horses, which wear horseshoes, so it was an honest mistake!  But come on mom!  Roger Staubach!  Tom Landry!  The cheerleaders!  Everyone knows their logo!

So remember kids, moms are awesome, but they are not perfect.  Be thankful for whatever you get. Even if you get the wrong shade of metallic red for your $250 Beats headphones.   I am sure there are millions of kids across the world that would have loved to have that Baltimore Colts jacket on a cold recess day back in 1978, even if it meant having to answer the same question over and over again…

“What’s with the Colts’ coat?”

Have a joyous Christmas holiday!

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Follow the author on twitter:  @macaljancic

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It’s been two-plus weeks since the Thanksgiving holiday, and Just when you thought you had all of the turkey out of your system, you got a rotten slice of this…

Welcome to the NFL, Johnny!

Not exactly what Browns’ fans had in mind back in May when first joined the ‘family’…

Something tells me that Johnny is gonna keep his cash in his wallet for the time being.  I can’t decide which would be a better description of his debut performance:  high school QB running around and just chucking the ball up for grabs, or a turkey running around with his head cut off.  I could make myself more miserable by further examining his Bengal debacle as well as his now less than certain future in the NFL.  But I am gonna take the high road, pin his struggles on being a rookie making his debut against a hungry play-off team, and hope for redemption next Sunday.

Instead, it’s time to serve up the long awaited conclusion of my Thanksgiving blog.  You can read part one of Turkey Plate, Turkey Ball, Turkey Bowl right here.

I celebrated my birthday on Thanksgiving day.  One think that I have learned in my 44 years that an athlete’s (or shall I say, ‘wanna-be’ athlete’s ) body greatly evolves through the years.  

Let’s use pictures.  As a kid, you body is pretty much a big bowl of…

Or maybe maybe this toy from Christmas past…

Good old Stretch Armstrong.   Who knows what toxic chemicals flowed under that skin.

A kids’ body is loosy goosy.  Flexible.  Kids break bones and get stitches.  But do you ever see a kid pull a hamstring or any other muscle?  Not very much.

As you enter your teens, that spaghetti metamorphosizes into a…

Explosive.  Powerful.

But a bit more prone to a periodic injury.

Your body retains it spring-like abilities for a while.  But when you have to grow up and get a job, that spring starts to collect a little bit of rust.  But still has plenty of spring in it’s step.

But as the thirties set in, that spring gets a bit stretched.  And the body starts to devolve into of these…

It can get down steps alright, but it ain’t get getting pulled over for speeding anymore!

And then comes the 40s…

In part 1, I detailed my survival of playing Thanksgiving morning basketball.  The next morning, I was awoken by a group of muscles that were protesting being forced to work overtime on a holiday after being in hibernation over the previous 364 days.

Unfortunately, those muscles were gonna have their very own Black Friday, as it was time for the annual Turkey Bowl football game.  My two little brothers and I have gotten together with a group of friends for the past 15 years of so to revive our pigskin passions.  Playing basketball on Turkey day is one thing.  All of us at least get some hoops in throughout the year, so it doesn’t take too much oil to get those hoops muscles loosened up.

Football, on the other hand, is a whole other story.  The cutting, accelerating and physicality of the game puts your body through a workout that no jogging, cross-training, open gym,  PX 90, aerobics, Zumba, Jazzercise, calisthentics, or county line dancing can do.

Our worn out bodies do receive a bit of mercy.  We do play tap football.  Enough of us have played college football to be wise enough not to venture back into world of tackle football.  But there is enough bumping, banging, diving, and stumbling to beat us up a little.  Or a lot.  Those collisions that your body shrugged off as a teenager are now sure to be felt for days to come.  If you’re lucky.  One year, Bob, our game organizer, suffered a back injury but him on the disabled list for a couple months.  Another time, were were fortunate to have a former Ohio State football player join us.  The key phrase is ‘one time’.  This  unnamed Buckeye stretched out to catch a pass in the end zone.  Unfortunately, one of our regulars, Big Mike, at 6 foot, 3 inches and 250 plus pounds, was doing his best Joe Haden imitation in pass coverage, and landed right on top of the receiver.  That resulted on our one and only torn ACL…so far.

My only injury goes back to November 26, 2010.  I remember that precise date because It was exactly one day before I turned 40.  I was playing great…like a youthful 36-year old.  Then Big Mike blitzed, and I tried to do my best Michael Vick imitation (Johnny Football was still in high school)  to juke him out.  My first back injury.  Welcome to 40, Big Mac!  Fortunately, my back healed up in a couple weeks.

This year we limbered up at 9:30 am for the kick off.   There were 13 of us this time, ranging from age the golden oldies at age 46 (Dan and Ben, the guys I like to guard!) to a couple of 21-year old pups. I had to bring brooms along to brush the snow off of the sidelines.   Despite  the 25 degree weather, it didn’t take long for our bodies to heat up.  There were plenty of great catches, and just a few ugly drops.  There were celebrations of scores and interceptions, as well as some chewed ears for blown coverages.  But in the end, it was as fun as ever.  And no one got hurt!  Every sport has its joys, but playing football is a special feeling that is hard to replicate.  And for one day each year, our bodies, and souls, get to remember some of the exuberance of the backyard football games of our childhood as well as the Friday Night Lights of our teen years.

We give two awards  at the end of our game.  One is the MVP, which for this year, went to Squirrel (a.k.a. Rob).  The other is our annual kicking contest.  Squirrel almost became the first guy to sweep both awards in a year, but a crafty 44-year old I see in the mirror every once in a while was able to sneak a field goal in from 38 yards out.  Word is that the Browns are looking for a kicker to finish up the season.  I will be waiting by the phone for Coach Pettine’s call.  But until then, I will have this to put on my mantle…

Follow the author on twitter:  @macaljancic

You can also e-mail him:  macaljancic@yahoo.com

 

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Well, let’s get the bad one out of the way…

S’HOYER LATER, BRIAN..

.

One month and one day ago, Brian Hoyer was being interviewed by the NFL Network crew after carving up the division-leading Bengals in a Thursday prime time showdown.  Speaking of ‘Prime Time’, during that interview, Hall of Famer Deion Sanders annointed #6 by giving him his ‘pay the man’ endorsement.  Brian Hoyer had the world on a string.  And his bank account future looked bright.  I had recently blogged about Mr. Hoyer possibly being the next…

I also wrote about it being a looooonnnnngggg season, and to be patient to see how it played out for Hoyer and the Browns. Then came the Texans.  The Falcons.  The Bills.  The Colts.  The 6-3 division-leading Browns have deflated into a 7-6 team holding on to their season by their fingernails. After being pulled in the 4th quarter of last week’s Bills’ loss, the clamor for…

was the talk of the week.

Mike Pettine took a lot of heat for sticking  with Hoyer, but I was completely behind his decision. In his two years here, Cleveland was 9-5 with Brian Hoyer at QB, and 2-12 without him under center.  Hoyer had earned enough slack to keep his starting job. And in the Bills game, the offensive line was overwhelmed.  They couldn’t open holes for the running  backs, and struggled to protect Hoyer.  That was a recipe for the disaster.  Johnny Football led them on a nice TD drive, but the Bills had turned the heat down at that point.

Today’s game against the Colts was a completely different story.  To put it simply, Hoyer looked like a broken man.  His play and his body language showed that he has lost that magical mojo that he had used for so many ‘Kardiac Kids’ comebacks this year.  Some drops by his receivers–hey Josh Gordon, your suspension ended three weeks ago–didn’t help his cause. So, for the first time, I officially declare that it’s time to turn it over to Johnny.

Browns fans feel pretty low right now.  We all knew that there was a 95% chance the Colts were scoring on that last TD drive.  But to be honest, I am more encouraged about their play-off chances now than a week ago.   Why?  Because they played play-off caliber defense!  They battered Andrew Luck and the NFL’s leading offense.  They simply got worn down by carrying their offense for the entire game. So if the defense can continue to play at that level, and Johnny Manziel can muster up some ‘Johnny Football’ magic, beating the Bengals at home and the Panthers on the road is very possible.  That would make them 9-6 heading into their finale at the Ravens.  I would take that in a heartbeat.

Lets move on to the good stuff…

BIG 10 STAGE BRINGS OUT THE BIG TIME BUCKEYES…

Ohio State 59, Wisconsin 0.  Nobody saw that coming.  My spider senses were telling me that Heisman hopeful Melvin Gordon would run all over the Buckeye defense, QB Cordale Jones would be up and down, and the Buckeyes would be on the wrong end of a 27-21 score.  I think most of us felt the best case scenario was a two TD win for the scarlet and gray. But 59-0?  59-0! How could the playoff selection committee leave them out?

And that 59-0 performance showed that they actually have a decent shot at winning the whole thing.  The defense was dominant, while Jones was poised, powerful, patient, and potent in his first start.  Their win at Michigan State last month was an impressive statement, but remember, they gave up 37 points that day.  Likely not good enough to beat Alabama, Oregon, or Florida State.  The Silver Bullet defense that played last night is good enough.

Imagine this.  There actually is a chance that next August, Urban Meyer will have to choose a quarterback from…

The 2012 and  2013 Big 10 offensive player of the year (Braxton Miller)

2014 Heisman finalist and Big 10 single-season touchdown record setter  (J.T. Barrett)

2014 National Championship quarterback (Cordale Jones)

Maybe the Browns can offer a trade for their 3rd stringer!

I gotta get one more team in this blog to complete the classic Meatloaf song…

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KYRIE IRVING CAN BALL!!!!!!!!!!

Did you get to see that Cavs-Knicks game Thursday night?  The show that Kyrie put on at Madison Square Garden what one of the most entertaining NBA performances that I have ever seen.  Jordan and Kobe’s dominance, LeBron’s power, Bird’s silky shooting, and Magic’s magic have been breathtaking to watch through the decades.  But for me, watching this 6 foot, 3 inch player on offense is like watching this  movie…

Non-stop, pure, amazing entertainment!

He handles the ball like a yo-yo, and shakes defenders out of their shoes with his  crossovers.  And he doesn’t settle for jump shots.  He fearlessly drives to the basket, finishing over the NBA giants with twisting moves and one-hand bank shots that kiss high off the glass and drop innocently into the hoop.  He was at his finest against the Knicks.  You could hear the New York fans ‘oohhing and ahhing’ throughout the game for Irving’s  virtuoso performance.

I am not a huge NBA fan.  For the four years while LeBron was gone, I watched some 4th quarters of Cavs’ game, as well as parts of some of those Spurs-Heat NBA Finals’ match-ups.  But not much else.

That being said, watching LeBron, Kyrie, and Kevin Love this year is must see TV!  I have great doubts about their chances to go deep into the play-offs.  Some questionable front office personnel choices last summer have given them almost no depth.  Does Shawn Marion have the worst looking shot in NBA history?  He starts  for us.  The flaws of the Wine and Gold is a blog topic for another day.  We all need to remember that is a loooonnngggg season.

For now, I need to just sit back and enjoy the show!

Follow the author on twitter:  @macaljancic

You can also e-mail him:  macaljancic@yahoo.com