Monthly Archives: February 2015

Dagnabit, It’s Cold!!!

Another day, another trip for the thermometer to negative land.  This morning was the ninth day this month that the temperature has been below zero.  If it doesn’t warm up pretty soon, we may eventually start ending our sentences with ‘eh?’,  like these two fine fictional friends from the Great White North…

McKenzie  Brothers

 

To give you a picture of how cold it has been this month, I recently took my little dog, Peyton Hillis Aljancic, for a walk.  Before you laugh at his name, we got him back a few years ago, just about the same time that this game came out…

Peyton Hillis

My, how times have changed for both Hillis and our Browns.  I will save my thoughts on their current winter time shenanigans for another blog.

Anyhow, Peyton the pup and I covered about two houses when he sat on his hind legs and raised his two front paws to me, as if to say, “I give up!”  I picked him up and headed back home.  Needless to say, this Alaskan Husky wannabe won’t be on any Iditarod dog sled race teams anytime soon.  Maybe I just need to pick him up a set of KITTEN MITTENS…

Kitten Mittens

To be honest, I wasn’t too upset to turn around from our walk and get back to my warm, cozy home.  But some people love the cold weather challenge.  I was driving around just this morning and saw legendary teacher, coach, and Times Reporter blogger Mike Gunther and his wife jogging.  JOGGING!  AT ZERO DEGREES!  I get cold running on the treadmill in my basement!

 

My first memory of bitter cold goes back to January 4th, 1981.  I remember this specific date, because it what the date that this Kardiac Kid’s 10-year old heart was broken after watching this bitter interception…

Red Right 88

I was crushed by my hero, Brian Sipe, making that one mistake.  I was comforted, though, by getting the next few days off school during that Artic blast and doing some serious snow-fort building at my buddy Yid’s house.

My father always loved the winter wonderland that Ohio can often be. One winter’s eve, when a cold, powerful blizzard blew into town, he decided to take me on an ‘Artic Walk’.  Andy was a high school English teacher, and I think he saw this moment as an opportunity to experience the rugged Alaskan wilderness of the Jack London stories that he often taught in class.  So we bundled up and set off on our epic adventure.  I can still picture the snow blowing sideways in the streetlights as we trudged along in our long, arduous journey that seemed to go on for hours.  I decided to retrace that walk in my car the other day.  My odometer almost hit 0.7 miles when I finished the loop.  I guess it wasn’t quite the Yukon trail, but I remember becoming a man that night!

Fast forward to January 6, 2014.  I remember this date for two reasons:  it was the night of the last BCS college football championship, and the temperature got down to 10 below zero.  It is often said that every person eventually turns into his parent, and that was true on this cold night.  School was already canceled for the next day, so I made an announcement that when the game hit halftime, the Aljancics would be reviving the ‘Artic Walk’ tradition.  Surprisingly, the kids were kinda up for it!  I got so excited, I called my brother in Indiana to get him and his 3 young sons on their own Artic journey.  So when the bands came out for halftime, we layered up Randy-style…

A Christmas Story Randy

and set off on our own adventure.  Unfortunately, our enthusiastic start soon evolved into a ‘Trail of (frozen) Tears’.  The young’ens just couldn’t handle the bitter winds of T-County that night.  I forgot that for my generation as kids, if it there was snow outside, we were outside playing in it for a while.  Board games and Brady Bunch re-runs could only last you so long inside the house.

With 400 TV channels and iPodding and Instagramming and X-Boxing, the current generation has far less training in  ‘Artic survival skills’.  I will say, though, that my two son’s have toughened up in the last 12 months.  They’ve been spending hours on some of these cold winter days playing hoops in the driveway with their buds.  Maybe there’s a little peach fuzz is sprouting up on their middle school chins to protect them from the harsh winter winds.

I do have to make a personal confession… when it comes to cold weather, I have become pretty much a fair weather fan.  I always remember old people complaining about the cold.  I guess I am the old guy now.  It probably won’t be long until I start carrying a handkerchief in my pocket.

Let me tell you about my latest bout with of the Old Man Winter.  Valentine’s weekend, I took my beautiful bride out for dinner and a movie.  And there was only one movie to see this Cupid’s Day, and this one had shades of Scarlet and Gray…

Old fashioned

This wasn’t your typicmovie set in New York or some other big  city.  This was Tuscarawas County!  Up on that big movie screen, I saw Tuscora Park!  J’N’G Grill!  Downtown New Philadelphia!  Even a few shots of this legendary newspaper…

The Times Reporter

And you know what?  It was a wonderful movie!  The script was well-written, the lead actress did a wonderful job, the great aunt stole the picture, and the cinematography was beautiful.  I will even let you in on a little secret if you promise not to tell anyone…

I shed a few tears at the romantic end.  DON’T TELL!!!

Hey, even the toughest guys are allowed to cry!

And let me tell you, I was MR. TOUGH GUY that night. When we got to the beautifully refurbished Quaker Cinema, my Beth went inside the theater to wait in the warmth, while I stood in line to buy tickets.  Those five minutes in sub-zero temperatures seemed ten times longer than my epic 0.7 mile Artic walk three decades earlier.  I came this close to signaling for my wife to come out from the warm bullpen to relieve me.  But it was Valentine’s Day, so I decided to be a true romantic and sacrifice myself for my soul mate and true love.   I would compare probably this with the end of The Bodyguard when Kevin Costner took a bullet for Whitney Houston…

The bodyguard

Maybe Brad Pitt will play me when the do a movie about my romantic, chivalrous gesture of braving the cold!

So make sure you throw an extra log or two on the fire this week.  Soon enough, the birds will be chirping and the lawnmowers will be humming.  And if you are at a cold and windy baseball game this spring, you just might see me performing another Kevin Costner sacrifice for my lady.  That’s if we bring the big enough blanket.  If not, Beth is on her own!

<script type=”text/javascript” charset=”utf-8″ src=”http://static.polldaddy.com/p/8690691.js”></script>

<noscript><a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/8690691/”>Best Kevin Costner Movie:</a></noscript>

P.S.:  Happy 14th birthday to my buddy and oldest son, Drew!  Now you can legally cruise on a moped!

Follow the author on twitter:  @macaljancic

You can also e-mail him:  macaljancic@yahoo.com

5th grade Valentines Party and My All-Time Chick Flick Picks!

February 14th is here, and love is in the bitterly cold air!  Yesterday, I got to somewhat re-live my first experiences (and probably yours) of this holiday of romance.  I was scheduled for a day off, and my 5th grade daughter was having her class party, so she invited me to join in!

As long as I didn’t embarrass her.

You may remember this blog I wrote about her birthday slumber party from last fall.  I hit it out of the park that night playing the role of the ‘cool dad’.  Audrey, though, didn’t fully appreciate my humor tactics as much as her guests did.  Especially when I dabbed some nacho cheese on her cheek and yelled ‘cheese touch!’, much to the delight of her friends.  For those of you that don’t appreciate classic American literature, that’s from…

cheese touch

So for this school party, I was strictly ordered by Audrey not to be ‘weird’.  Especially no ‘cheese touch’ ideas!

She was trying to be low key, but I could tell she was pretty pumped for Dad to come in.  In fact, she called me from the school office that day to make sure I was coming.  And she was waiting for me in the office when I got there.  I was gold!!!

I felt I had enough daddy-daughter street cred built up to gamble a little (but not a lot).  So when we got to her classroom, I told her secretly that I brought a special treat for the class.  I pointed down, and peeking out of my pocket was one of these… cheese slices

To prevent any collateral damage, I made sure she could only see it so it could be our little inside joke.  Thankfully, my comedic instincts were right.  She gave me an ornery smile and showed off my cheese to some of her classmates, especially those that were at the birthday party.  It’s good to be the Dad!

Well, at least on this day.

As I mingled with her and her classmates, I discovered that Valentine boxes have improved quite a bit from back in my day, when you would slap a couple of hearts on a red-paper covered shoe box.  There was a Sponge Bob Square Pants box.  An Army Tank box.  A Lebron box.  A couple of Minion boxes.  My daughter had a dog house box.

I asked a group of girls if they put any special Valentine’s cards that said ‘love’ into any boys’ boxes.  (I seemed to remember myself in elementary school  being very strategic as which Valentine’s cards went to certain girls).  All of the girls quickly said, “We don’t have boyfriends!”

GREAT ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I quickly complimented them, and reminded them that “boys have cooties!”  One of these little smarties soon pointed out that I was a boy, but then followed that with “but Dads don’t have cooties”.

ANOTHER GREAT ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I made it through the party with my daddy-daughter bond intact enough to fight another day.

Time to graduate from 5th grade  and move one to college level math…

Valentines = Love

Love = Romance

Romance = Chick Flicks

Many men cringe at the thought of spending a couple of hours watching  a romance movie, but I am always up for a good chick flick.   And none about any of this 50 Gray Shades stuff.  I’m talking about Meg Ryan, Kate Hudson, Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts, Rachel McAdams, and their buddies.

(By the way, guys, if you want to start a petition to take away my “Man Card”, just give me the heads up)

Here are some of my honorable mentions…

The Notebook

A solid chick flick, but a bit to cheesy/sappy to earn classic status for me.   It needed to set up the relationship better.  James Garner’s performance hepls get this on the list.

How to lose a guy

the plot’s just alright, but Kate Hudson is awesome, and Matthew McConnaughey is his ever-cool-dude self!  Consider this a kind of a rom-com lifetime achievement award for these two.

Cant buy me love

Dirty Dancing got all of the mid-80s hype, but this Patrick Dempsey flick (is he the Dr. McDreamy guy on TV now?) is much better.  Bonus points for having the main character cruise the streets on one of these sweet rides that I used to drive around and charm the ladies with…

cant buy me love lawnmower

As Kenny Chesney sings, “You Think My Tractor’s Sexy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Notting Hill

Hugh Grant is doing his best Hugh Grant, and the Julia Roberts nails her “… I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her” line!

Knight and Day

You are probably thinking, “Huh?”  I was definitely not a Tom Cruise fan in his Top Gun/Cocktail/Days of Thunder/A Few Good Men/Jerry McGuire prime.  Way too cocky for me.  But in his latest movies, he has dialed down the cockiness to humble confidence, and the results have been pretty darn good. He was awesome in Jack Reacher, and in this romance adventure with Cameron Diaz, he could take James Bond with one hand tied behind his back.

There are many others that I could add to the Honorable Mention List, but it’s time to move on to my All-time Top Five…

#5 Romance Movie

Sleepless in Seattle

#4 Romance Movie

You've Got Mail

Meg was my first true romance movie love.  Well, maybe my second, if The Karate Kid would be considered a romance movie.  That Elizabeth Shue set my Junior High heart on fire…Karate Kid

If Daniel-son could get a date with her, I had to have a shot!  I can paint a fence!  Sand a floor!  Wax on, wax off!

Anyhow, Meg and Tom Hanks would earn my vote for King and Queen of the Chick Flick Prom (if you don’t count their Joe vs. The Volcano dud).  They are at their best in these two classic films!

My #3 romance movie…

Its a wonderful life

“What!  That’s a Christmas movie!”

You are right, but if you look beyond the whole “Clarence the Angel” last act of the film, it’s a beautiful love story.  The walk home after the dance singing Buffalo Girl Won’t You Come Out Tonight?  A few years later, grumpy Jimmy Stewart tries his best to stave off the lure of true love (and thankfully failing) as he finally kisses her and utters his classic “Mary, Mary,…”  The old drafty house honeymoon, and, of course, the climatic scene at the end when Mary saves the day.  That’s a 4-star romance movie if I do say so myself!

My #2 romance movie…

When Harry Met Sally

Billy Crystal and my girl Meg have perfect romance and comedic chemistry, the writing is incredible, Princess Leia is in it, and so is one of the guys from The Godfather, Part II. This final scene at New Year’s Eve is pretty hard to top.

I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

That’s followed by multiple ‘I hate you’s’, followed by a kiss, followed by Billy humorouslyy analyzing the mystery of lyrics of ‘Auld Lang Syne”.  That’s cinematic gold.  Hey ‘The Notebook‘, try to top that!

And my #1 romance movie of all time is…

The next 3 days

“Huh?  What movie is that?  That’s not a romance movie!!!”

Hold your horses.  Let me explain myself.  And the movie.  Russell Crowe is a teacher married to Elizabeth Banks, who gets set to prison for murder.  We are not quite sure if she is innocent or not.  The wife is miserable and suicidal.  So Russell decides to break her out of prison.

(And if any of you husbands just thought to yourself, “Why would he ever wanna get his wife out of prison?”, shame on you!)

Anyhow, this ain’t no easy prison break.  You are just gonna have to watch the movie to see what happens next.  Maybe while sitting with your lovely spouse by a nice, warm fire!

So before you question my list, let me ask you this.  What action shows more love?

Writing a letter 365 days in a row like The Notebook guy?  Poor Ryan Gosling probably got a couple of callouses!

Running all over New York/London/Other Big City to tell some girl she’s the love of your life like the guy in just about every romantic comedy?  Pretty expensive taxi bill!

Dirty Dancing Patrick Swayze telling dad that “No one puts baby in a corner”?  That’s one real tough guy!

You can choose one of those.  But my choice for the ultimate in true love is breaking your lady out of the joint!

So here’s a special Valentine letter to my beautiful bride of 19-plus years…

Beth,

If there every comes a time when you get sent up to the Big House, hang in there.  Plug your nose when you eat that prison food.  Be sure to do a few push ups and chin ups in your cell. Maybe use some prison cigarettes to buy yourself something nice.  Like two-ply toilet paper.

But when the clouds seem darkest, just remember…

Be ready, because I am coming to get you out!

I love you very much!

Mac

P.S.  If I am lucky enough to pull off the miracle of breaking you out, bring an empty water bottle.  I will probably get nervous and have to pee, and we won’t have time to stop.

P.P.S.  Don’t forget to bring your eye liner!  Once again, we won’t have time to stop!

<script type=”text/javascript” charset=”utf-8″ src=”http://static.polldaddy.com/p/8657273.js”></script>
<noscript><a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/8657273/”>Which is your favorite romance movie?</a></noscript>

Follow the author on twitter:  @macaljancic

You can also e-mail him:  macaljancic@yahoo.com

Super Bowl on the Mount Rushmore of Holidays?

Mt. Rushmore

What would be the Mount Rushmore of American Holidays?

Side question: for those of you that have been to Mt. Rushmore, I have to ask:  is it worth the trip?   I am sure that it is a breathtaking sight.  But it’s South Dakota location is a bit out of the way.  It’s not quite as convenient as pulling off I-77 in southeastern Ohio while heading to Myrtle Beach to see the sign for this tourist attraction…

Big Muskie Bucket

BIG MUSKIE BUCKET!   I am gonna have to pull of the Caldwell exit and check it out sometime!

Back to our original question.

Christmas is a unanimous 1st ballot Hall of Famer.  It’s in the George Washington slot.  I don’t know of any other holidays that get 6 weeks of radio stations airplay.

Thanksgiving probably gets the #2 ranking.  It’s scores high in three key categories:

* ‘mandatory extended family gathering’

*’eating experience’

*”televised sports available’

The last two spots for this Mt. Rushmore are a bit trickier to pick.  Let’s look at their resumes:

Easter:  The celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ makes it the most important holiday in the Christian faith.

And of course, a rabbit delivers eggs.  Who came up with that tradition?  Why doesn’t a chicken deliver pickles or something?

Easter baskets, Easter Bonnets, Easter Egg hunts.  The Master’s golf tournament is often on TV.  Easter has a strong case.

Halloween:  October 31st’s stock has been skyrocketing since the millennium. When I was a kid, it was pretty much a kid’s holiday.  Costumes and Candy.  But nowadays, it seems to have a much bigger appeal to adults.  Maybe because recent generations have been raised on horror movies and shows of past (slasher movies) and present (The Walking Dead).

Fourth of July:  the patriotism of celebrating our nation’s independence with cook-outs and fireworks is the showcase of summer.  And it’s the one day of the year that you can dress like this…

weeden flag

Good to see you again, Captain America!

New Year’s Eve & Day:  parties, the signature moment of the ball dropping at midnight, a traditional song that make’s no sense  (Auld Lang Syne???).  And wall-to-wall bowl games.  The College Football play-off has this holiday trending upward.

And I missing anything else?  I would say that Memorial, Mother’s, Father’s, and Valentine’s Days are a definite tier below.  But there is one other day that deserves a look…

Super Bowl trophy

Super Bowl Sunday doesn’t get etched into any calendars that you buy.  Who makes that decision?  Calendars have Flag Day, Arbor Day, Columbus Day, even Canadian Thanksgiving Day.  But no Super Bowl Sunday???  What a slap in the face!

Let’s put it through the eye test:

A.  PRE-REQUISITE HOLIDAY REQUIREMENTS:

Pre-holiday hype:  9 out of 10.  All it is missing is it’s own radio station of songs.  We just need to come up with a few more songs to go with this one…

Super Bowl shuffle

Mandatory family/friends party:  8 out of 10.  I am sure many of you were at a party last Sunday.

Great eats:  9 out of 10.  Super Bowl parties are made for awesome appetizers!  And let’s convince ourselves that it’s all good for our health!

Must see sports TV:  12 out of 10.  Does anything else come remotely close?  The top 22 watched broadcasts of all time are Super Bowls.

Celebration of historic/religious event: 0 out of 10.   Though the NFL can almost be called a religion in America.  Disagree?  Just ask this guy…

Steelers' fan

In addition to those scores, you can pad the resume with these highlights:

*Super Bowl Sunday is the Super Bowl of television commercials.  I give this year’s crop an overall B+ grade.  Snickers Brady Bunch one was my favorite.

*The half-time show fulfills the ‘Hollywood entertainment’ checklist.  Katy Perry gets a B- this year.   Her flame outfit and riding at the beginning were kinda puzzzling.  A little too much Missy Elliot and too little Lenny Kravitz.  The ‘Firework’ song was a great ending, though.   Last year’s performance by Bruno Mars may have earned the “Greatest of All Time” label.

*Outside financial interests.  I am guessing a few bucks are gambled on this day.

*Use of Roman numerals.  Always adds class.  It’s a good move for movie sequels as well.  Not using them probably cost this Hollywood masterpiece an Academy Award…

Jaws 2

 

Well, I hope you had a great XLIX Super Bowl holiday last Sunday.  Al Michaels did another great job calling this game, which leads to my next Mt. Rushmore blog question…

Who are the top 4 sports announcers of all time?

<script type=”text/javascript” charset=”utf-8″ src=”http://static.polldaddy.com/p/8641740.js”></script>
<noscript><a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/8641740/”>Favorite Holiday of the following:</a></noscript>

 

Follow the author on twitter:  @macaljancic

You can also e-mail him:  macaljancic@yahoo.com