What’s the #1 month for Browns’ fans?
April!
There is only only one thing better to Browns’ fans than the NFL draft. That would be speculating what’s gonna happen in the NFL draft. There are no game-ending blocked kicks in the draft. No prevent defense let-downs on draft night. No ‘Red-Right 88’, No ‘The Drive’, No ‘The Fumble’. Ben Roethlisberger isn’t bouncing out of tackles to make a big play.
And even if the Browns lay an egg on their 1st round pick (imagine that?), you won’t even know it for at least five months.
I could legitimately argue that this was the most exciting moment in the 17-year existence of the post-expansion Browns…
Speaking of Johnny Football, I have concluded that his best off-season move would be to find a hot-tub time machine and travel back to the year that Star Wars debuted on the big screen, 1977. The losing Super Bowl QB that year was a 6-foot, 190-pound small-sized super scrambler from the SEC (sound familar?) that retired as the NFL career leader in yards passing, touchdowns thrown, and QB wins…
And who did Fran Tarkenton lose Super Bowl XI to? The NFL Network just debuted an episode of A Football Life about this southern gunslinger, glorifying his late-night partying skills (sound very familar?) almost as much as his on-the-field accomplishments…
Given his current lifestyle, Mr. Manziel might want to buy the rights to this Ken Stabler quote that aired on this documentary:
“I study the playbook by the light of the jukebox.”
Though Johnny might first need to ‘ask Siri’ what a jukebox is.
What is quickly becoming the #2 month for Browns’ fans?
September?? No way.
Opening day is supposed to be the one moment where hope springs eternal for every team. Well, almost every team– the Browns are 1-16 in openers since their return in 1999.
And things usually don’t get much better in October, November, and December.
August is out, considering those pre-season games can be harder to watch than a Democratic Presidential Debate. So what’s left?
JANUARY!!!!!!!!!
January?
Not because of the play-offs, obviously. (cue coach Jim Mora)
But because this is the month that the Browns’ put on their (almost) annual reality game show known as…
WHO WANTS TO BE OUR HEAD COACH AND/OR GENERAL MANAGER???
This January seems to be ripe for another one of these beauty pageants. General Manager Ray Farmer appears to be on ice thinner than the 4th quarter crowds at First Energy Stadium.
Of his four 1st round picks in the last two years, 2014 #8 selection Justin Gilbert (cornerback) appears to be a complete bust, the play of 2015 #12 selection Danny Shelton (nose tackle) has been underwhelming, 2015 #19 pick Cameron Erving (offensive lineman) has looking completely overwhelmed at times, and 2014 #22 choice Johnny Manziel has been a rollercoaster ride on the field and a trainwreck off.
The rest of his personnel decisions have left much to be desired: small receivers, aging defenders, and free agent blockbuster signing Dwayne Bowe looking to set an NFL record for most dollars paid per catch (9 million divided by 5 catches = $1,800,000 per catchwith one game left this year).
Oh yeah. I almost forgot to mention Mr. Farmer’s 4-game suspension…
for texting.
I wonder if Browns’ owner Jimmy Haslam put a passcode on Farmer’s phone for the rest of the season?
My forcast for Ray’s return next year: 5%
As for the fate of head coach Mike Pettine…
Losing 17 of his last 20 games definitely puts his head squarely on the chopping block. Additionally, he was hired as a defensive guru, but his defense is ranked 26th in the league in yards allowed, and dead last against the run. This is in spite of a heavy draft and free agent investment into that side of the ball.
And if Farmer is canned, what quality general manager candidate would want to take a job where he was forced into a shotgun marriage with a struggling coach?
But consider that since Haslam purchased the team in the fall of 2012, he has fired two coaches (Pat Shurmur and Rod Chudzinski), a team president (Mike Holmgren), a CEO (Joe Banner), and a general manager (Mike Lombardi). Firing Farmer and Pettine would make Haslam look like Donald Trump and George Steinbrenner’s love child. I don’t imagine many quality candidates would be lining up to sit in Jimmy’s electric chair.
One could also defend Pettine job security on the merit that he has showed success at times (they led the AFC North with a 7-4 record in November last year), and his team has continued to play hard. And that is in spite of the subpar roster that Farmer has assembled for him that is devoid of playmakers on both sides of the ball.
So right now, I put Pettine’s chance of survival at 20%
RIGHT NOW.
But remember, the Browns have one opponent left on the schedule…
Just seeing that helmet puts a bitter taste in the mouth of any Browns’ fan.
A humiliating loss this Sunday with a Cleveland stadium full of these waving in the fourth quarter…
could seal Coach Pettine’s fate.
But…
imagine if a Pettine-inspired team came out and punched their rivals right in the mouth and out of the playoffs. How far would that go towards saving Mike’s job?
I know it would get him plenty of supporters among Browns’ fans. The one thing that is worse than the Browns stinking is the Steelers soaring. And knocking them out of the playoff hunt would be like wiping every smile we saw from this guy’s face…
And evaporate every memory of humiliating plays like this…
And buy 9 months of ammunition to silence these fans…
Back on December 6, 2009, Eric Mangini’s 1-11 Browns manhandled a visiting 6-6 Steeler team. That win not only turned the season around (they won their next 3 games) and saved the coach’s job; it revitalized a beaten down fan base.
A win Sunday just might do the same thing.
Chance of a Browns’ win Sunday: 14%
Chance of Pettine surviving with that victory in his back pocket: 55%