Summertime is an annual collections of lifelong memories marked by popsicles, roller coasters, fireworks, and haggling with someone over whether a nine-year old sweater is worth $1 or 50 cents.

Of course, I am talking about garage sales.  Where one person’s former treasure become someone else’s future trash.  I wrote two summers ago about our garage sale, so in honor of this year’s batch of mediocre summer movie sequels, let me present…

GARAGE SALE II: DEALS AND DUDS

My wife and I have slightly different mindsets.  She sees it as a way to get some monetary value for slightly used items that no longer serve a purpose in our homestead.  Maybe it would help if I gave you visual representation of her mindset from this short-lived Cleveland folk hero…

Time to start raining the dollars!

I, on the other hand, take a different philosophy that Browns tend to incorporate every couple of years:  CLEAN HOUSE!

2016 signaled a new era for the Aljancic Corporation’s annual tango with the free market system.  My wife had to work on Friday, so for the first time, I was in charge.  

Prices were slashed.   I had more sales than one of those cheesy car commercials.  I may have even honored these golden tickets…

I was consumed with an exhilarating joy as carloads of clutter drove off into the sunset. Unfortunately, that feeling dissipated at the end of the day when I had to report my sale prices to our CEO.

Time to take a look at a few pieces of our vintage collection…

EXHIBIT A:

This five-flick collection is the ultimate rainy day line-up.  Here is how I rank them…

#5:  Dirty Dancing:  C+. I never quite bought into this ‘no one puts baby in a corner’ lovefest.  But the great soundtrack makes it watchable for this dude.

#4:  The Cutting Edge:  B+.  One of my wife’s favorites from back in our dating days.   I enjoyed this chick flick with her a few times around.  The Olympic vibe spices it up.  I recently recorded it onto our DVR to show our daughter.  I don’t know if our boys would hang in there.

#3.  Sleepless in Seattle.  A.  One of my favorite romantic comedies.  Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are at their peak as a pair here.

#2.  Field of Dreams.  A.   I loved this quirky sports movie back in the day.   As the years have passed, it’s kinda lost it’s mojo, though.

#1:  The Shawshank Redemption.  A+.  Now this is the epitome of a re-watchable movie.   Probably my all-time favorite flick.

VERDICT:  no sales.  I guess that whole VCR fad might be on the downturn.

 

EXHIBIT B: 

Five years ago, the NCAA hammer came down on Jim Tressel and his Ohio State Buckeyes.  Star quarterback Terrelle Pryor was the center of the tattoo scandal.   His five-year ban from OSU just ended this past week.

VERDICT:  while his Buckeye ban is over, he is remains stuck in our sales bin

EXHIBIT C:  

This cassette tape of my wife’s was also the very first CD that I ever bought.  Milli Vanilli may have been exposed as frauds, but the music is still awesome, no matter who is singing.

VERDICT:  No sale.  I guess I’ll have to blame it on the rain.

EXHIBIT D: 

I LOVED batting helmets growing up.  Love, love, loved ’em…

 

My two sons, on the other hand, could care less.  They,instead, love $14 socks.  As in $14 for a ONE pair of Nike socks.  Give me $14 at Wal-Mart and I could get about 25 pair.

Stupid Millennials!  Go chase your Pokemon thingies!

Anyhow, just last week, my family stopped at a Columbus ice cream shop. Guess what they had on the menu?!?  Batting helmet ice cream sundaes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Back in the 1970s, that combo ranked right up their with Donny and Marie, Starsky and Hutch, or Pop Rocks and pop.

But not so exciting to my high-end sock wearers.

VERDICT:  no sale.  I might have to wear them around town some time to revive the fad and drum up some business.

EXHIBIT E:

 

I not only made mix tapes back in the day;  I classed them up!  Look at these professional graphics!

VERDICT:  sold my ‘Best of the Oldies’ tape!

EXHIBIT F:

As a teacher, I am always looking to mix a good polo shirt into my school rotation, especially when they are on clearance at the end of the summer.  Bonus points if I use that Kohl’s coupon!  This shirt may have been my best pick-up ever.  I got this from a store for $3.60!   My wife was never a big fan, but my students always gave it the thumbs up.

VERDICT:  Got $1 back on my $3.60 investment.

EXHIBIT G:

Ever heard of ESPN?  Back in the early 1990s, their daytime programming wasn’t wall-to-wall Sportscenters and sports debate shows.   They actually had a group of fitness shows run for a few hours around lunch time.  I only know this Gilad guy (important clarification:  this is my wife’s tape) from the last minute or so of his show.  That is because my college buddies and I usually tuned in for what followed…

I remember walking down my college dorm hall one day past five rooms.  I think four of them were tuned into Bodyshaping.  I guess guys were really into physical fitness back then.

Now in defense of my buddies and me, I will say that the Bodyshaping cast wasn’t the only group of girls that we tuned into around lunch time.  We also made room for these hotties…

VERDICT:  Gilad is still available for next year’s blog.

The author is a contributor for The Times Reporter, as well as clesportstalk.com.  You can follow him on twitter:  @macaljancic