Let’s hop in the hot tub time machine for a moment and travel back to November 6th, 2014. My wonderful big sister turned 29 (or so) that day, and I was writing this blog praising the Browns after they moved into FIRST PLACE with a Thursday night prime time 24-3 thrashing of the Bengals.
For a Browns fan like me, that memory seems about as far off when this legend was on TV inn the 1970s jumping sharks…
The fall from the AFC North peak has been pretty steep since those good old days of long ago. 6 losses in the last 7 games, including the return and flame out of Josh Gordon, along with the debut and flame out of this former ESPN darling…
Thankfully, the Brownies rinsed out that bitter tasting finish with a refreshing, minty swig of off-season optimism.
Well, maybe not so minty…
It quickly started with Josh Gordon drinking himself into a suspension for the entire 2015 season. Next, popular offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan decides to abandon this dumpster fire of a franchise to salvage his own coaching career. Then, the story comes out that General Manager Ray Farmer is in trouble with the NFL for sending illegal text messages to the sidelines during games, which may lead to a suspension, and even the loss of a draft pick.
ONLY IN CLEVELAND.
I really have to question the NFL’s rumored discipline for this phone faux pas. For the punishment to truly fit this texting crime, I think Commissioner Goodell should take away Ray-Ray’s phone for a month, while also making him clean his room, wash the dishes, and empty the kitty litter box. The Patriots cheat, then go on and win a Super Bowl. Our Browns are gonna lose their only precious commodity, the mysterious hope that is hidden inside every draft pick. OVER SOME TEXTS!!!
UNBELIEVEABLE!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait a second. We are talking about the Browns.
BELIEVEABLE!!!!!!!!!!!
Thankfully, the Browns’ PR department recognized that these dismal times required a drastic reaction. So they brought out the big guns.
Step one: Out with the tired old logo…
and in with the sleek, creative, revolutionary, futuristic, jaw-dropping new logo…
WOW! Talk about ABC Extreme Make-over! Kinda like when a little upstart restaurant turned their fortunes by changing their old logo…
into this slightly more recognizable version…
Needless to say, the Browns’ latest logo change was a bit underwhelming, to say the least.
Here’s my take. I know some people hate the blandness of the Browns’ image. I however, am fine with it. Let’s face it. Brown and orange is just about the worst sports color combo imaginable. I would say the only one worse is brown and yellow (sorry, all you Baldwin Wallace alumni). But it’s our colors, and it’s 68 years of tradition passed down from generation to generation. So I embrace it 100%. And that bland, logo-free helmet is our identity. A couple years ago, I was scanning our TV when I came across my first favorite sports movie…
I was about 6 at the time, so my personal movie catalog was a bit limited. But this underrated cinematic classic had an unbeatable big screen recipe–Football, Don Knotts, and a donkey place kicker! Anyhow, as I re-watched this memory from my childhood, in the opening football scene, the team lining up against the fictional L.A. Atoms were wearing these legendary uniforms…
It gave me a chill just seeing them. That helmet is the Cleveland Browns! So I have no problem with keeping that as the identity of the franchise.
But the Browns went wrong with their Logo evolution in several ways.
1. Hyping up the change ahead of the announcement, which caused the minimal change to become a major disappointment.
2. The logo font is so generic. Think about it. Every NFL team has a font style that uniquely identifies them. I think this is ingrained into my brain because of the bed sheets that I had as a kid…
But every team has their own font identity. The Browns even had their own unique font for decades…
Then, a few years back, they dropped their unique calligraphic identity (I had to look that up) and took on the generic varsity letter font of today. BORING…
3. The helmet style for the logo is generic. Every NFL team has an alternate logo of their helmet in that exact same pattern…
But we are the only team where our helmet IS our logo. So lets drop the generic 3D 1980’s facemask pattern that every team uses and go with our own. Either copy a tougher, more modern helmet…
Or, as I prefer, go completely old school with the classic Roger Staubach face mask logo…
Let’s hope their uniform unveiling will be a bit more satisfying. I am hoping for a slight modern twist on our classic look. Mix in some gray pants. Maybe something like this…
I would keep the browns jerseys as an option. I am hoping for the best, but it’s the Browns, so expecting this kind of ugliness…
Well, enough of this Project Runway Cleveland Browns edition of Sports Smack with Mac. The best way to pretty up their logo and their uniforms is by putting a bunch of winners inside of those helmets. And that leads me to preview my next blog.
“STARTING QUARTERBACK FOR THE CLEVELAND BROWNS…
36-year old, with 1 win and 10 losses as a starter in 2014…
JOSH McCOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Only in Cleveland.
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