Tag Archives: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

When Johnny Came Marching Home

Thousands of Steuben men served in the Civil War, and hundreds died, leaving hundreds of widows and orphans. Sickness had taken more lives than battle causes, and official counts are low — men who were very sick or badly wounded were discharged, so they didn’t appear on official lists when they died.

While most Americans didn’t write or speak in these terms, those losses left huge gaps not only in families but in communities. Just as samples, Clayton’s 1879 History of Steuben County lists 36 Civil War dead for Avoca (some of whom starved to death as prisoners); 29 for Urbana; 17 for Caton; and 6 for Hornby.

The psychological effect of all these losses must have been crushing, especially for the military-age cohort. Down in Addison, Stephen P. Chase wrote on his return, “I feel very lonely to find so many who went into the army with me are not here. They rest in a soldier’s grave.” Chase further wrote, “I do not enjoy my mind very well” — his description of recurring deep depression. Later he commented, “I thank God I have the right use of my mind after 4 years of terrible war.”

He found relief to a certain extent by going to church and by working in the field, but there was really no help (or even terminology) for emotional and psychological problems. Spiritualism boomed as people tried to contact lost loved ones. Funerals became elaborate rituals. Sentimental songs abounded, such as “The Empty Chair” and “Faded Coat of Blue.”

Depression and “survivor’s guilt” were no doubt widespread. Those who had been in combat, and those who had been prisoners of war, were prime candidates for what we now know as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Russell Tuttle of Hornellsville wrote years later that the cry of a whippoorwill always filled him with horror, bringing back ghastly memories of Chancellorsville — a clear P.T.S.D. trigger.

Many veterans suffered physical wounds. In Hammondsport Monroe Brundage had lost an arm at Antietam, and Hezekiah Ripley had lost a leg at Missionary Ridge. R. C. Phillips in Prattsburgh and John P. Faulkner of Dansville suffered no amputations, but each lost the use of one arm at Gettysburg. Barry Dexter of Caton was “deaf and dumb” for the rest of his life, after being caught in the blast of a bursting shell.

While many veterans couldn’t wait to get home and stay there, others found that they no longer belonged in Sonora, Buena Vista, or Coss Corners, or even in Corning, Bath, and Wayland. Some would head west, some went south to help with Reconstruction, while others gravitated to Rochester, New York, or other booming cities.

Many of the public were terrified that a million trained and experienced killers were about to be unleashed on the population. Could they settle down to civilian life? As time went on, that fear turned in some cases to loathing — they wanted BENEFITS? Only lazy parasites would behave that way.

The veterans came together in local, state, and national groups as the Grand Army of the Republic. This gave them psychological and emotional support (not that they’d have used those terms). It also educated the public about veterans’ need, and helped change the mood on benefits and support systems — the G.A.R. was a major force behind creating the New York State Soldiers and Sailors Home in Bath (now Bath V.A.).

A group of returning soldiers drank themselves drunk and rioted in Bath, hunting down and attacking African Americans, presumably under the alcoholic “reasoning” that since the war had been about the condition of African Americans, that made them responsible for the soldiers’ sufferings.

As a whole, though, the veterans as organized in the G.A.R. became increasingly angry at seeing their victories on the battlefield thrown away in peacetime. (The organization itself was one of the few groups in America to be racially integrated.) They agitated for the rights of African Americans, and fiercely opposed the Ku Klux Klan. Perhaps their last gasp as a national pressure group was in joining others against the Klan-glorifying film The Birth of a Nation. Most of the “boys in blue” were gone by the 1920s, but we imagine that those who were left were at once enraged and heartbroken as their grandchildren, here in Steuben County, joined the Ku Klux Klan in droves.

PTSD and Me

June 27 is National PTSD Awareness Day, so it’s time to tell you about PTSD and me.

*Especially with a V.A. Center at hand in Bath, we often think about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as a military issue. In my case it stems from grinding years of an upbringing that was verbally and emotionally abusive.

*I’d been working with a psychiatrist who said, “Let’s do an evaluation for PTSD.” This startled me, and I said, “Well, that’s not a problem.” She said, “Let’s try it anyway,” and started asking diagnostic questions off a list. When I answered yes to the first three she said, “Take his home and fill it out.” What do you know? I got 100%! A perfect score.

*So now that I’ve learned more about PTSD, I get it. It flows from exposure to trauma, maybe once, maybe repeatedly. If you can’t cope with it well, and some things NO ONE can cope with well, you may develop such symptoms as intrusive thoughts, frequent bad dreams, hyper-vigilance. Certain “triggers” may provoke a “flashback” response that puts you back in the trauma emotionally.

*In the movies this means delusions and hallucinations, and the character blazing away with machine guns because he thinks he’s back in Vietnam. It’s usually much quieter. If a person has been abused in the context of alcohol use, tinkling ice cubes might trigger panic, dread, nausea – the same feelings that the person had at the time. You’re trained into it.

*My PTSD diagnosis turned out to be tremendously liberating. Just like a diagnosis for a physical condition, it finally made all the symptoms make sense. It gave me a chance to study my own thoughts, feelings, and responses. And it gave me a route for dealing with my struggles effectively.

*When I was a little kid, I was relatively helpless. My “fight or flight” mechanism was constantly roaring in both directions, but I couldn’t go either way. Maybe that contributed to my developing adrenal failure (Addison’s Disease), which appears to be a linked condition – having either AD or PTSD increases the likelihood that you’ll develop the other. (It seems that verbal and emotional abuse are more likely to create long-term health problems than physical abuse is.)

*Well, I was helpless then, but I’m not now. One level of doing better is simple avoidance – my whole family knows what to shield me from on TV. Getting a comic book, or a graphic novel, or a cartoon collection, makes me feel better. Walking in the woods makes me feel better. Counseling helps. I take antidepressants. I learn how to deal with flashbacks and other symptoms.

*I’m happy for people to know that I have PTSD. That doesn’t bother me a bit, and they don’t have to worry that I’ve got a machine gun in my pocket. It’s part of my life, and while I’m unhappy with it, I’m not ashamed of it. I have a problem, and I get help, and I’m not ashamed of that, either.

*For some reason people think they need to deal with mental or emotional issues alone – “I’ve got to do this by myself.” Nobody who lies on the ground with a broken leg waves off the first aid and the ambulance and the doctors, saying, “I’ve got to do this by myself.” Good grief. Help is a great thing. You’d help somebody else if you could, wouldn’t you? Why not give them the same opportunity?

*People think hat only a weakling needs mental or emotional help, so they’re ashamed of it. They might as well be ashamed that they’re so weak that their leg broke.

*Since my diagnosis I’ve had help from a great family, great doctors, great friends and church congregations. Not everybody has that. But even if you don’t, there’s help out there somewhere.

*And if you have a loved one who lives with PTSD… well then, you live with it too. Make sure you keep yourself healthy, but learn something about the situation. Don’t be ashamed of it, and do what you can to help that person get healthier too.

*Some people have cancer, some people have PTSD. Neither one is anything to be ashamed of, or anything to hide. In either case, there are ways to get help.