The death of a parent hurts and the wound cuts deeply regardless of the circumstances or your age. You may be in your 50s and expected to cope easily, but the death of a parent brings back the vulnerabilities of the child within us. It does not matter how close or distant you were to your parent, it still hurts the same way.
The grief is even more devastating for children and young adults who still looked up to the parent(s) for support. It is as if your life just died together with your parent leaving you with a deep void and a sense of hopelessness. Picking up the pieces and moving on can be challenging but here are some tips to help you cope.
Immediately after it happens
People receive the death of a parent with shock naturally, but as adults, they shove this to the back burner and stoically go through the funeral arrangements and the process of internment.
The responsibility of making the funeral plans with a funeral home can temporarily numb one from grieving until after the burial. However, the children do not have this option and may feel the impact right away although the finality of it hits home harder after burial
Engaging a funeral home to deal with funeral arrangements can help reduce the added stress while grieving. You must also look at Memorials.com for the choice of appropriate headstones for cemetery gravesites during grief periods.
Allow yourself to grieve
After the burial or cremation, it is time to confront your loss and to grieve for the loss of your mother or father. Expect the grieving to be hard on you and to drain you emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Grieving takes time and although you will recover, it never really ends for some time.
During this trying period, do not let go of your control completely and be gentle on yourself. Self-chastisement and loss of control can easily lead you down the road to substance abuse and addiction or outright depression. Keep your senses and be rational in your grieving while seeking support from friends and family to help you cope.
Seek support while recovering from loss
The best way to grief starts with an acceptance that you have lost a father or mother and that their death is a natural factor of life. Do not suppress your feelings or even memories good or bad of your relationship with the departed parent. Take care of your health, eat well, and provide support for loved ones grieving with you.
It is important to seek support from extended members of the family and close friends to see you through this grieving period. Having people who care around you will protect you from sliding into depression and possible mental health complications.
Accepting and starting over
You will have to give yourself time to grieve for the loss of your parent before moving on. However, to pull out of this grief and recover fully, start by resolving your feelings and forgiving yourself for any guilt you may have over the death of the parent. We often feel we did not do enough for the parent when alive and suffer this guilt long after they are dead.
Allow the loss of a parent to generate a new perspective to life in you and help you appreciate life differently. Accept your new status and use it to support other family members as a legacy to your late parent. Treasure and enjoy those precious memories you recollect of the times shared with the departed parent.