Tag Archives: worst

Top 5 Worst Films of Summer 2015

With the good, comes that bad. Summer 2015 gave us some solid films, but it also gave us a lot (and I mean, *a lot*) of trash. So I try my best to narrow them down to five films here. Thank God I get to list out 10 films at the end of the year…

Dishonorable Mention: Mad Max: Fury Road

This isn’t a good movie, it’s just a well-made one. People seem unable to separate the two. I don’t get how when Michael Bay throws explosions on the screen in sacrifice of plot or character development he is crucified, but when George Miller does it he is praised as a genius.

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5.) Entourage

On top of being the biggest disappointment of 2015 so far, this was also just a miss on all cylinders. I love “Entourage” the show, I love Los Angeles and I love to laugh, and this film really doesn’t pay much honor to any of these things. It is an unfunny, skin-deep movie that was only not a total bomb because of the familiar faces in the best city on earth. That’s it.

Variety

Variety

4.) Tomorrowland

Quick: what is this movie about? That’s OK, I’ll wait. Give up? Cool, because I have no idea, either. Something about George Clooney and his love affair with a 10-year-old robot (it is slightly less creepy within the context of the film), and I think there was something else about the end of the world and Dr. House was there. I really hated this movie. I walked out not liking it, but in the three months that have passed, I’ve grown to loathe it. Just not as much as these remaining three films.

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3.) Terminator Genisys

Just like “Tomorrowland,” I didn’t mind this film while watching (I realized it wasn’t good, but in-the-moment I was tricked to thinking it wasn’t awful). But the ending draws on for 15 minutes, and it has some of the worst CGI I have ever seen in a film in the 21st century. It just isn’t good, and hopefully this franchise is…terminated. [clears throat] OK, what’s next?

Variety

Variety

2.) Pixels

Like most people, I was tricked by the trailer for “Pixels” into thinking this wouldn’t be a normal Adam Sandler comedy; but much to my dismay, this is just a normal Adam Sandler comedy, it just happens to have video games in it. It is bottom-of-the-barrell, lowest effort humor, and its best attribute is Josh Gad, which is never a good sign.

Variety

Variety

1.) Fantastic Four

HAHAHAHAHAHA oh my God, this thing is awful. Like I’ve forgetten like 95% of it but holy heck is this bad. Nothing happens until a rushed and horribly standard final fight sequence, and it wastes a fantastic young cast. All the behind the scenes drama is much, MUCH more interesting than the actual film, so go give those stories a read. It’s films like this that make it hard for people like me to trust the month of August…

Variety

Variety

2015 in Film: Halfway Recap

With 6 months of films behind us, we have officially reached the halfway point of 2015 (you’re welcome for that clarification). And although we’ll likely not see many of these films mentioned come Oscar Season, it’s still fun to do a bi-yearly recap. So, as Pink once said: let’s get this party started.

Best Film: Jurassic World

I was shocked how great this film was (more on that in a second). It is one of the best and most summer movies I have ever seen, and Chris Pratt continues to kill it as Hollywood’s next big thing. Unlike most other things in this list, “Jurassic World” will definitely be in my Top 10 of the year, and could even hold out for number one overall when all is said and done.

Variety

Variety

Worst Film: Fifty Shades of Grey

Oh my God, is this thing dreadful. I can’t imagine a world where this isn’t my worst film come the end of the year. The dialogue, the narrative, the chemistry (or painful lack thereof) all combined for a movie-going experience that made me almost hate movies. I don’t remember much about it (thank God), but from what is stained in my brain I recall this thing just being awful and lazy and the fact that there are going to be two sequels makes me physically ill.

Variety

Variety

Biggest Surprise: Jurassic World

I didn’t expect this to be awful, but I was never wowed by the original “Jurassic Park” film, and the trailers for “Jurassic World” made it look like standard summer fluff. And as previously stated, I was dead wrong. If somehow you aren’t one of the millions of people who have pushed the film to $1.2 billion (and counting), or you have only seen the film one time so far… whatever you’re doing can wait. Go now.

Variety

Variety

Biggest Letdown: Entourage

I was a late addition to the “Entourage” series bandwagon, but once I was on it I instantly fell in love with Ari Gold, Johnny Drama and the rest of the, well, entourage. When the beginning of 2015 rolled around the film adoption was one of my most anticipated films of the impending year, and not a day went by that I didn’t think about it. Then I saw it. It is an unfunny, lazily constructed shadow of its former self, and it depressed me. Maybe it was my own fault for hyping it up so much in my head, but hey, this is my list, and “Entourage” let me down.

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Variety

Shocked It Didn’t Suck: The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

I love SpongeBob and I love, love the first film from 2004. However when the trailers for this sequel dropped, I was horrifically worried. They made it out to look like most of the film would be sellout CGI instead of flat 2D animation, as well as lazy potty “comedy” that studios think dumbed-down kids enjoy in 2015. However I was relieved and thrilled when about 80% of the film was both the classic animation and humor of the show’s early seasons. The film itself isn’t great, but it is a lot of fun and didn’t ruin my childhood, and that was good enough for me.

Variety

Variety

Most Underrated: Run All Night

Unlike the other “Liam Neeson Has a Gun!” film from January (“Taken 3”), “Run All Night” was a lot of fun and had a few fun twists. Not too many people caught this one, and I feel like even less appreciated it, but if you get a chance to watch this on a rainy Saturday afternoon I really think it’s worth your time.

Variety

Variety

Most Overrated: Mad Max: Fury Road

OK, I seriously am still baffled by this one. Just like last year’s “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”, I can’t begin to fathom why people thought this was a good film, much less how it has a 98% on Rotten Tomatoes and is being lauded as one of the year’s best films. It is an impressively made but narratively hollow film, and while I don’t expect much plot or character development in my action films, I do enjoy them having a shred of either.

Variety

Variety

Thanks for reading, and here’s to a successful second half of 2015, which includes my personally most anticipated films, “Ant-Man”, “Black Mass”, and a little indie film called “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”.  It also includes the latest Adam Sandler project, “Pixels”, but we’ll cross that bridge when we are unfortunately forced come to it.

Worst Films of 2014

What goes up must come down. There were some great films in 2014, so it only makes sense that there were some stinkers.

Unlike my Top Films list, I saw most every bad movie in 2014. There were some that were bad and just didn’t make the cut, such as “Transcendence” and “Annie”, and please do not take those films not being on this list as my approval for you to see them. But without further ado…

Dishonorable Mention: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

I really didn’t get the hype around this one. I liked the first film but found the sequel boring and pretty uneventful, and by the time we reached the monkeys firing machine guns while riding horses, I had long checked out.

Variety

Variety

10.) Think Like A Man Too

The first film was charming, witty and funny. This film was the opposite of all those things, even with Kevin Hart at his Kevin Hart-iest. I wish this Vegas-set sequel had stayed in Vegas…

Variety

Variety

9.) The Other Woman

I chuckled a few times at this but overall it is a chick flick that is actually insulting to women and their intelligence, so I’m not exactly sure the demographic they were going for here…

Variety

Variety

8.) Ride Along

Hello, Mr. Hart. We meet again. This wasn’t a *bad* movie, it just was a comedy that wasn’t funny. Like, at all. The storyline was basic and cliché, so it wasn’t even like that could hold my attention. Congrats (?) to Hart and director Tim Story for making this list twice.

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7.) Exodus: Gods and Kings

A movie involving ancient Egypt, gods, plagues and all that fun schtuff shouldn’t be boring. Throw in Batman himself Christian Bale and it really, REALLY shouldn’t be boring. Yet, alas, “Exodus” is boring. Like, check-my-phone-every-ten-minutes boring. Leave it to Hollywood to create yet another movie that is nowhere near as good as the book on which the film is based.

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6.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

There’s really not much to say about this one. Michael Bay produced it. Megan Fox starred in it. I mean, if those aren’t red flags then I don’t know what are…

Variety

Variety

5.) Transformers: Age of Extinction

Dammit, Michael Bay, when will you stop ruining our childhoods?! You want a plot summary of this movie? Here it is: boom. Boom. Boom BOOM. [objectification of women] Boom. BOOM….boom. Like, this is worse than “Revenge of the Fallen” and once I hit the period ending this sentence I will never have to think about Transformers 4 ever again.

Variety

Variety

4.) Blended

[sighhhhhhhh] I hate Adam Sandler.

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Variety

3.) Annabelle

A scary movie that isn’t scary. Actors that make adult film stars look like Oscar contenders. This thing was a mess. When the doll is the best actor in your film, you know you have a problem.

Variety

Variety

2.) Tammy

I think I laughed…once (?) during this movie. But it wasn’t just me; my theater was dead quiet the whole film. If I wasn’t sick of Melissa McCarthy before, I sure am after seeing this movie. It is just not funny and what’s worse is it’s awkward. And what’s worse yet is when the jokes awkwardly don’t work, the film tries to throw in some drama which doesn’t work, so then THAT adds onto the awkwardness. [exhale] Point is this movie isn’t good.

Variety

Variety

And “Tammy” would have been the worst film of 2014 had it not been for…

1.) Lucy

It really wasn’t a good year for films with women’s names as their title (see the previous three movies, as well as “Annie”). When I walked out of the theater after seeing “Lucy” on that muggy July afternoon, I knew I had just witnessed the worst 2014 had to offer. “Lucy” is stupid, stupid, stupid. As Scarlett Johansson gets smarter, this movie only gets more unintelligent. The ending is also an insult to the audience, as if the director had no idea how to conclude the picture so he threw his hands up and said, “Screw it! The audience is probably asleep by now anyways!” Some people actually liked this movie and it makes me honestly hope Charles Darwin was right about natural selection.

Variety

Variety

Do you agree with my list? Any movies you thought were worse than these? See a film on here that you actually thought was good? Let me know in the comments!

Worst Movies of Summer 2014

This summer was one of the worst in recent box office history, and many of the products released make that stat not all too surprising. Here are my worst five films from Summer 2014.

Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_film_July_2014_poster5) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Produced by Michael Bay, this was stupid, unfunny and boring. A film about giant talking fighting reptiles should be an incredibly entertaining and fun film. But Bay had other things in mind. You know your film is in trouble when Megan Fox is the star of your film, and she’s one of the best parts.

 

 

Transformers_Age_of_Extinction_Poster_jpeg4) Transformers: Age of Extinction

Michael Bay strikes again. The worst of the Transformers series, this film was an assault on the eyes, ears, brain and the human urge to be entertained. It also starred Marky Mark as Cade Yeager, the only Texan with a Boston accent.

 

 

Blended_(2014)_Poster3) Blended

[Sighhhhh]….I hate you, Adam Sandler.

 

 

 

Tammy_poster2) Tammy

A lazy and unfunny film, this movie got one chuckle out of me, and I instantly felt guilty about it. It should have been much funnier, especially considering the talent involved. I’m not the biggest Melissa McCarthy fan, but even I wanted this to at least be passable.

 

 

[50 feet of crap]

 

Lucy_(2014_film)_poster1) Lucy

The trailer for this made the movie look like it was going to be awful; the finished product was even worse. A rip-off of Limitless, it made this year’s Transcendence look like a mind-bending thriller that had its act together. I didn’t hate the film until the climax, in which the film just loses any sense of intelligence or fun that it was barely holding onto. Seriously, the ending of this movie makes no sense, and not in an Inception kind of way. In a “we don’t know how to end this movie so are just going to do it” kind of way. [SPOILER, but you shouldn’t care] You pay to watch Scarlett Johansson turn into a flashdrive.