Category Archives: Lists

Ranking movies, whether it be the Best and Worst of a year, or films in a franchise.

Worst Films of 2014

What goes up must come down. There were some great films in 2014, so it only makes sense that there were some stinkers.

Unlike my Top Films list, I saw most every bad movie in 2014. There were some that were bad and just didn’t make the cut, such as “Transcendence” and “Annie”, and please do not take those films not being on this list as my approval for you to see them. But without further ado…

Dishonorable Mention: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

I really didn’t get the hype around this one. I liked the first film but found the sequel boring and pretty uneventful, and by the time we reached the monkeys firing machine guns while riding horses, I had long checked out.

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10.) Think Like A Man Too

The first film was charming, witty and funny. This film was the opposite of all those things, even with Kevin Hart at his Kevin Hart-iest. I wish this Vegas-set sequel had stayed in Vegas…

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9.) The Other Woman

I chuckled a few times at this but overall it is a chick flick that is actually insulting to women and their intelligence, so I’m not exactly sure the demographic they were going for here…

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8.) Ride Along

Hello, Mr. Hart. We meet again. This wasn’t a *bad* movie, it just was a comedy that wasn’t funny. Like, at all. The storyline was basic and cliché, so it wasn’t even like that could hold my attention. Congrats (?) to Hart and director Tim Story for making this list twice.

7.) Exodus: Gods and Kings

A movie involving ancient Egypt, gods, plagues and all that fun schtuff shouldn’t be boring. Throw in Batman himself Christian Bale and it really, REALLY shouldn’t be boring. Yet, alas, “Exodus” is boring. Like, check-my-phone-every-ten-minutes boring. Leave it to Hollywood to create yet another movie that is nowhere near as good as the book on which the film is based.

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6.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

There’s really not much to say about this one. Michael Bay produced it. Megan Fox starred in it. I mean, if those aren’t red flags then I don’t know what are…

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5.) Transformers: Age of Extinction

Dammit, Michael Bay, when will you stop ruining our childhoods?! You want a plot summary of this movie? Here it is: boom. Boom. Boom BOOM. [objectification of women] Boom. BOOM….boom. Like, this is worse than “Revenge of the Fallen” and once I hit the period ending this sentence I will never have to think about Transformers 4 ever again.

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4.) Blended

[sighhhhhhhh] I hate Adam Sandler.

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3.) Annabelle

A scary movie that isn’t scary. Actors that make adult film stars look like Oscar contenders. This thing was a mess. When the doll is the best actor in your film, you know you have a problem.

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2.) Tammy

I think I laughed…once (?) during this movie. But it wasn’t just me; my theater was dead quiet the whole film. If I wasn’t sick of Melissa McCarthy before, I sure am after seeing this movie. It is just not funny and what’s worse is it’s awkward. And what’s worse yet is when the jokes awkwardly don’t work, the film tries to throw in some drama which doesn’t work, so then THAT adds onto the awkwardness. [exhale] Point is this movie isn’t good.

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And “Tammy” would have been the worst film of 2014 had it not been for…

1.) Lucy

It really wasn’t a good year for films with women’s names as their title (see the previous three movies, as well as “Annie”). When I walked out of the theater after seeing “Lucy” on that muggy July afternoon, I knew I had just witnessed the worst 2014 had to offer. “Lucy” is stupid, stupid, stupid. As Scarlett Johansson gets smarter, this movie only gets more unintelligent. The ending is also an insult to the audience, as if the director had no idea how to conclude the picture so he threw his hands up and said, “Screw it! The audience is probably asleep by now anyways!” Some people actually liked this movie and it makes me honestly hope Charles Darwin was right about natural selection.

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Do you agree with my list? Any movies you thought were worse than these? See a film on here that you actually thought was good? Let me know in the comments!

Best Films of 2014

Another year of films, another subjective list ranking them. There were plenty of fun times at the movies in 2014, including some surprises like “Guardians of the Galaxy” and “Draft Day”, and some colorful joy like “The Lego Movie” and “Chef”, all of which were good but did not crack my top ten.

Without further ado…

Honorable Mention: Interstellar

A fun, engaging and well-acted film that could have been great and ranked among the all-time great science-fiction films if it didn’t try and blow the audience’s minds in the final act. Sure, it has the classic Nolan-isms that plague all his films, but this one ranks right below “Inception” on my list of his films.

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10.) John Wick

Who thought a modern-day film with Keanu Reeves would ever make anyone’s top films list? Well he does it here in one of the best action movies I have ever seen. The cinematography, the action and the music all are amazing, and I really hope that this is the first child of a franchise.

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9.) Whiplash

The film that likely was the vehicle for future Best Supporting Actor J.K. Simmons, this thing is intense and incredibly well-edited (and that may be selling it short). Simmons and the impossible-to-hate Miles Teller have explosive chemistry and teacher and student, and this is a film I’m sure I’ll only like more upon a second viewing.

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8.) Foxcatcher

This was number one on my watchlist for 2014 and it didn’t disappoint. Steve Carell is mind-blowingly eerie as John du Pont and Channing Tatum completely shattered my image of him by giving one of the most physically and mentally demanding roles of the year. This film is based on a true story, which makes the whole thing even more intense and emotional.

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7.) 22 Jump Street

Before he was proving me wrong in “Foxcatcher”, Channing Tatum was doing what we all know and love: being a goofy idiot who kicks butt while undercover at school. A rare sequel that is possibly better than the original, this second trip back to Jump Street was hilarious because it knew it was an over-the-top sequel, and made sure to remind the audience every chance it got.

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6.) Boyhood

Talk about a full blown nostalgia bomb. Shot with the same actors over 12 years, there was so much that could have gone wrong in the decade-plus while filming this. This movie just has so many things that were a crucial part of my own growing up: from the Oregon Trail computer game to waiting in line for a Harry Potter book to all the early 2000’s songs, this put a lump in my throat and is your cup of tea if you love trying really hard not to cry.

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5.) X-Men: Days of Future Past

I’m not a huge X-Men fan, so this one caught me by surprise. It was a great action film as well as political thriller that had me entertained throughout the whole runtime. Plus it had Jennifer Lawrence, so. You know.

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4.) The Imitation Game

Featuring an amazing performance from Benedict Cumberbatch and one of my favorite screenplays from 2014 by Graham Moore, this was a very interesting biopic about the men (and woman) who created the world’s first computer in order to beat the Nazis.

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3.) Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

Much like “Boyhood” this film was unique on a technical level, and it could have just turned out to be a gimmick that came up flat. Each scene is one take, and the whole film is edited to look like it is all one continuous shot. It really is amazing and offered mind-blowing performances from Edward Norton and Michael Keaton.

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2.) Fury

Hands down one of the best war movies I’ve ever seen, right behind “Hurt Locker” (oh, shut up, haters). Brad Pitt kills Nazis with a Macklemore haircut, and the end battle sequence is as fun as it is heart-breaking. Honestly, though, ever single aspect of that finale is perfect.

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1.) Captain America: The Winter Solider

When I saw this movie back in April, I was blown away by not only how much fun this film was, but how smart and well-directed it was, too. The first Captain America was, for lack of better words, not that good, so expectations were not so high for this one. But it turned out to be the second best Avengers movie behind only the first Iron Man, and I am glad it stuck at number one for over 8 months. I kept waiting for a movie to come along that was more fun, more well-made and just plain better than “Captain America: The Winter Solider”, but to my great surprise: none did.

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Agree with my list? Are there any 2014 films you think deserved to be on here or some that you shocked made the cut? Let me know in the comments!

Worst Movies of Summer 2014

This summer was one of the worst in recent box office history, and many of the products released make that stat not all too surprising. Here are my worst five films from Summer 2014.

5) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Produced by Michael Bay, this was stupid, unfunny and boring. A film about giant talking fighting reptiles should be an incredibly entertaining and fun film. But Bay had other things in mind. You know your film is in trouble when Megan Fox is the star of your film, and she’s one of the best parts.

4) Transformers: Age of Extinction

Michael Bay strikes again. The worst of the Transformers series, this film was an assault on the eyes, ears, brain and the human urge to be entertained. It also starred Marky Mark as Cade Yeager, the only Texan with a Boston accent.

3) Blended

[Sighhhhh]….I hate you, Adam Sandler.

2) Tammy

A lazy and unfunny film, this movie got one chuckle out of me, and I instantly felt guilty about it. It should have been much funnier, especially considering the talent involved. I’m not the biggest Melissa McCarthy fan, but even I wanted this to at least be passable.

[50 feet of crap]

1) Lucy

The trailer for this made the movie look like it was going to be awful; the finished product was even worse. A rip-off of Limitless, it made this year’s Transcendence look like a mind-bending thriller that had its act together. I didn’t hate the film until the climax, in which the film just loses any sense of intelligence or fun that it was barely holding onto. Seriously, the ending of this movie makes no sense, and not in an Inception kind of way. In a “we don’t know how to end this movie so are just going to do it” kind of way. [SPOILER, but you shouldn’t care] You pay to watch Scarlett Johansson turn into a flashdrive.

Best Movies of Summer 2014

2014 Oscar Predictions

The 2014 Oscars are right around the corner, so here are my thoughts on who I want to win (SHOULD WIN) and who all signs point towards winning (WILL WIN) for the 6 main Oscar categories.

BEST PICTURE

For all intents and purposes, this is a two horse race between “12 Years a Slave” and “Gravity”. “American Hustle” has an outside chance of squeaking in, but the Academy will probably choose between the visually stunning “Gravity” and the historically important “12 Years”. Regardless of who wins Best Pictures, both films will win multiple awards Sunday night. “Wolf of Wall Street” and “Captain Phillips” were my top two favorite films from 2013, but they are either too controversial or too under-publicized to stand a chance here. Also if “12 Years” wins, it will be Brad Pitt’s first Oscar win, so that would be cool.

Should Win: Captain Phillips

Will Win: 12 Years a Slave

Best Director

I personally feel Paul Greengrass was snubbed for “Captain Phillips”, but it wouldn’t have mattered much, because it is pretty much a lock that Alfonso Cuarón will win for “Gravity”. If you watch any of the behind the scenes for the film, he had so much to do with creating the most visually stunning film ever (Avatar be darned). Steve McQueen could win for “12 Years a Slave” because of the emotional toll of that film, but honestly this would be an upset if anyone other than Cuarón wins.

Should Win: Alfonso Cuarón

Will Win: Alfonso Cuarón

Best Actor

This is by and far the tightest race in any category in Oscar history. Tom Hanks didn’t receive a nomination for “Captain Phillips”, yet he wasn’t snubbed; that’s how great this year’s nominations are. The leaders, however, are Matthew McConaughey for “Dallas Buyers Club”, Chiwetel Ejiofor for “12 Years a Slave” and Leonardo DiCaprio for “The Wolf of Wall Street”. Christian Bale (“American Hustle”) and Bruce Dern (“Nebraska”) both gave great performances, but it would still be a small shock if they won. McConaughey has done an amazing job turning his career around from the awful rom-coms and was phenomenal in “Dallas”. Ejiofor had such a large range of emotions in “12 Years”. And DiCaprio went all in with “Wall Street” and may deserve to win simply because he has been snubbed by the Academy for near 2 decades now. It will be close, but in the end I think the actor with the most physically demanding role will win, and that goes to McConaughey, who lost 38 pounds.

Should Win: Leonardo DiCaprio

Will Win: Matthew McConaughey

Best Supporting Actor

Much like Best Picture, this is pretty much going to come down between 2 nominees: Jared Leto (“Dallas Buyers Club”) and Barkhad Abdi (“Captain Phillips”). 2-time nominated guys Bradley Cooper (“American Hustle”) and Jonah Hill (“Wolf of Wall Street”) will have to try their luck again another year, and despite being memorizing in “12 Years a Slave” Michael Fassbender has denounced the Academy after getting snubbed for “Shame” several years back, effectively knocking him out of contention. Between Leto and Abdi, Leto has the slight edge because his role was extremely demanding in several categories (he played a cross-dresser, lost 40 pounds and got his arms and legs waxed). As fantastic as Leto is, however, I personally would love to see Adbi win, giving “Phillips” it’s likely only win of the night. Plus he had never acted before this role; the guy was driving limos. That would be a crazy rags-to-riches story.

Should Win: Barkhad Adbi

Will Win: Jared Leto

Best Actress

Like many non-Academy members, I did not see Cate Blanchett in “Blue Jasmine”, but the buzz around Hollywood is she is a lock to win. She has essentially swept every award this year. Sandra Bullock (“Gravity”) and Judi Dench (“Philomena”) both gave great performances, but this just isn’t their year. And if Meryl Streep wins for “August: Osage County” I am pretty sure everyone watching the TV will groan and throw up. The only person who can challenge Blanchett is Amy Adams, and it is for the same reason DiCaprio stands a chance: she’s a 5-time nominated, no time winning actor. The Academy may feel bad if Adams goes home empty handed for a fifth time, and as much as I would love the overrated “Hustle” to not win a single award on Sunday night, I think Adams deserves a trophy for once.

Should Win: Amy Adams

Will Win: Cate Blanchett

Best Supporting Actress

I am going to begin by saying Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t deserve her nomination and was nominated for the same reason Meryl Streep was: because of her name being credited in a movie. That being said, everyone in Hollywood does not agree with me, as Lawrence has won the BAFTA and Golden Globe this year for “American Hustle”. She has two real competitors: June Squibb (“Nebraska”) and Lupita Nyong’o (“12 Years a Slave”). I thought Squibb was the best part of “Nebraska”; she was funny, angry and honest, often all at once. Nyong’o did a good job stirring up emotion in her role, and stands the best chance of beating Lawrence from sweeping the Big 3 awards. I really don’t know how this one will go; my gut says Lawrence, my logic says Nyong’o and my heart says Squibb. As long as Lawrence doesn’t win I’ll be happy, but deep down I fell I’m going to be disappointed come Sunday night.