I am awesome at procrastinating.  I’m not saying that it hasn’t resulted in a sloppy thrown together jersey or a brownie mishap once in a while but generally I’m pretty good at using every second of the last minute.  I know I should learn from it and try to avoid it but my only regret about procrastinating is that it isn’t a skill that would be welcome on a resume. 

Well that is until right about now, because procrastinating has made me miss out on one of the biggest roller derby events of the year, Northeast Derby Convention.  I’ve gone the past two years and used it as motivation to get the crankle working but by the time I had my money together and knew what days I was going to go, the passes were all gone. 

If this was a pre-facebook world, I’d probably forget about it for the weekend and ask my friends about it on Monday.  But no, starting tomorrow my facebook feed will be clogged with everyone’s pictures with derby stars from all over.  Sure we all go there to learn new stuff and take classes but in between there are people to meet like Quadzilla, Betty Ford Galaxy, Smarty Pants and Demanda Riot.  

It’s not that these people are usually inaccessible; in fact one of the great things about roller derby is that when you meet derby all-stars, they’re usually crushingly nice, so this weekend everyone will be getting their pictures taken with their idols while I’m doing something equally exciting like seeding the lawn.

I know it’s not the end of the World, believe me.  Will I learn from this?  Probably not, in fact tomorrow is the last minute to do something else I said I’d do so I’ll be working on it tonight.  In any event, Northeast Derby Convention will go on without me and I’ll check out everyone’s pictures and they’ll bring all their new skills back to the league and life will go on.  Maybe I’ll finally make it to East Coast Derby Extravaganza, once I get around to buying a ticket.

Whenever I’m in recruiting mode at an event, someone who seems vaguely interested in roller derby always says, “Oh no, I’ll fall on my face!”  Or, “I’ll fall on my butt”, and yeah, that’s true (that’s why we wear all this safety gear).  You will fall, many times. 

Sometimes you’ll fall on purpose, sometimes you’ll fall on accident, other times you’ll fall because you’re trying something new and sometimes you’ll fall because someone fell on you.  All of these things happen, to everyone and that’s fine.  Have we had freshies fall and hurt themselves straight out of the gate?  Unfortunately, yes.  I would by lying if I said we hadn’t. 

All I can say to that is that roller derby is not the only sport that people get injured in.  Speaking as someone who hurt themselves mid fall, I was probably on fall one thousand after 3 years of skating and plenty of bout time.  I would be lying if I said that I don’t get a chill when I think about my crazy fall, but to get around my fear I crosstrain (to work on my balance and core strength) and mostly fall correctly instead of flailing.  I’m still a little skittish in practice, but during a bout I’m too focused on bouting to worry about gravity. 

So yeah, you’ll fall, but who cares?  A) we all fall.  B) If you’re falling, you’re probably trying something outside your comfort zone and that’s perfectly fine.  C) No one will point and laugh.  D) We will turn and look at you/check on you if your fall sounds especially spectacular or thunderous. 

Here’s another thing about falling, you’ll get over it.  As long as you don’t hurt yourself, the only thing to do is get right back up, it’s not like you have a choice in the matter anyway.  One second you’re skating, the next you’re on the floor, and then the next second you get up, not a catastrophe.  Life rolls on, and so will you.

Now that we’ve started a new recruit cycle, we’ve got a lot of new people at practice.  Some people call them Fresh Meat, I tend to call them Freshies.  I’m sure other leagues have different terms but the point is that they’re brand skatin’ new.  Some of them can skate well already, others are still dealing with rental skates and a few are returning skaters. 

They probably don’t know it, but Freshies inject a new energy into practice.  There’s nothing like someone newly in love with roller derby, they’re like happy little sponges who want to hit people.   It’s nice to be around all of that when I’m feeling like a curmudgeon at practice.  Seeing how hard they’re working makes me want to set a better derby example, (hopefully that street goes both ways). 

I write this like I’ve been skating forever but compared to many skaters, I’m sort of fresh myself.  In a sport where a lot of the all-star level skaters have been around for 5-10+ years, I don’t want anyone to think that I believe I’m some sort of ancient seer or anything, I know I’m still new in some ways. 

Last night was the first Tuesday of the month so we did assessments and today we have some newly scrimmageable skaters.  Their excited facebook posts speak for themselves;  Coyer the Destroyer posted, “Words cannot express how happy I am right now!” and RockJess Monsta’s “I’m so flippin’ ecstatic right now that I don’t think I’m gonna be sleeping much before my morning shift hahaha You (yes, YOU!!!) rock!!” warms my derby heart. 

Assessments can be stressful, not only for the people assessing, but for the coaches evaluating everyone and keeping skaters organized.  All of this adds extra tension to the beginning of practice but by the end it’s become festive when the newly-scrimmageable skaters join us for Queen of the Rink and others focus on what they need to practice for their next assessment go-round.  There’s a happy sounding chatter while everyone leaves the rink after another step on their derby journeys from fresh meat to beef jerky.  All is well and good in our little derby world, as it should be. 

 It’s time for another derby personality to get the blog spotlight and today it’s a Q & A with Shoreline Roller Derby’s Head Referee, Allie Kspaz.  Being a league’s Head Referee is a big job that requires lots of people organizing, rule knowledge, translating and relating that knowledge to skaters, running the referee training program and lots of time on the road.  Besides our bouts, she helps out at other league’s scrimmages and bouts as well.  She just returned from a trip to Montreal to referee Beast of the East, making her Shoreline’s record holder for “traveled farthest for derby”, a distinction I just realized should probably exist.  In any event, I got her to answer a few questions to give us a window into the referee world.

1. What was it like to referee your first bout?

First bout was really scary and fun all at the same time. Home bouts kind of all blend together as I spent my first few bouts off skates, however my first away bout at Baystate is one that I will never forget and had my most embarrassing moment on the track.

At the half we went into the locker room.  I set down my whistle on the bench and proceeded to the ladies room. Long story short at the end of the first jam when I went to blow the echo of whistles my whistle was missing. I now carry two whistles on me just in case and depending on my job will determine which one I use. Missing a whistle happens to the best of them.  There was a tournament where the Jam Timer yelled 5 seconds and went to blow his whistle and nothing.  He forgot his whistle.  So it happens to the best of us.

2.  Do you have a favorite referee job?

I love them all and have just recently decided that Jam Ref (JR) is my absolute favorite.  I can focus on one skater, but in trade for one skater I have to deal with a lot more technical stuff like star passes and remembering who they earned points on before they are sent to the box. Many times I feel like my head is going to explode.  I went to a scrimmage with Mass Maelstrom recently and was the JR for the entire scrimmage.  For the first time I didn’t feel like my head was going to explode. Most times when I go there I feel like I am out of my skill level. What does a rookie official have any business being a JR for one of the top rated men’s leagues in the country? But going in I tell myself that this is the safe place to learn and make mistakes and they are definitely very technical with the things that they do. I saw a successful 6 point pass at my last scrimmage and that was one jam I will never forget.

3.  What’s something that you wish the skaters (or audience, either one) knew about being a referee?

I wish skaters and fans understood that there is one rule among officials that cannot be broken. To make a call we must see the initiation, contact and impact.  If one of these 3 components is missing we cannot make a call if there is any doubt or confusion we cannot make the call, and on top of that to understand that we are not paid professionals and not perfect. 

We give our best on the track to ensure that we keep the game safe and fair. But unlike any other sport the athletes make the rules of the game and they change the rules frequently so just as we think we have it all figured out, we don’t. With a new and growing sport they have not yet encountered every situation possible and when the WFTDA first started rules were 6 pages long. Now they are 68 pages plus Q&A’s and publications.

4.  Tell us a little bit about Beast of the East.

I just returned form the Beast of the East, which is an annual tournament in Montreal Canada consisting of 16 home teams from all around eastern Canada. This year was the 7th annual tournament. It was an amazing experience. It was my first trip ever out of the country and was working with a bunch of amazing officials from all over the eastern states and Canada.

5.  What are you looking forward too the most about refereeing Beast of the East?

I am most looking forward to working with some great officials that I have worked with in the past but don’t get to work with regularly. I am looking forward to learning from my peers and building my confidence as well as my resume.