Ah spring, the time when thoughts turn to sunshine, skating outside and whether it’s time to buy new booty shorts. There’s something in the air as freshies pick names and new uniforms are on their way. Yet again it’s time for new headshots and talk of track surfaces, the break is over and it’s time to get back to derby business as usual.

These next weekends could very easily be taken up by derby activities; Providence has their season opener Saturday, next weekend the Connecticut Rollergirls bout at home, followed by our season opener where we host Hartford Area Roller Derby a few weekends later. A new season is starting and a new bout year is about to begin. While I’m excited that I’m nearly boutworthy, a more pressing spring matter is outside my window and that’s the weather keeping me from skating outdoors.

Every once in a while I see pictures of people skating with their dogs and frankly I think these people and their dogs are magical because I just can’t make that work. There are some things I’ll try just to be able to write about them, but leashing myself to 80 pounds of labrador and cannonballing down the street is not one of them. Sure if I have to bail I can just let go of the leash but then I’m chasing a dog around the neighborhood on skates and last I checked I’m not an early 90’s Disney movie kid who can do that sort of thing.

I could take my cat for a skate, but he’s already marginally disdainful of my presence. Adding a leash to the equation might finally push him into full on “Ignore Mode” and I’ve got enough to stress about without my cats glance being more askance. Walking my one aquarium fish is out of the question, because he never has anything interesting to say besides bragging about the castle he lives in (I get it Goldie, you’re a king).

Of course skating on the street without a dog has its own hazards and in my attempt at safety, I keep my music low, I yield to basically everybody and I’m always looking around for cars.  I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone for various reasons but I feel pretty safe doing it because my streets are freshly paved and level.  Part of me wonders what people think when they look outside and I’m skating by but mostly I’m just happy to be there with skates on my feet and a song on my ipod. In a few weeks I’ll be in full pre-bout near meltdown mode but for now I can still relax and greet the season in skates.

I feel like such a creep when we’re recruiting, I know that sounds weird but it’s true.  I have recruiting postcards with me at all times so I’m ready to spring into action and recruit someone who looks like they would be interested.  Some of these opportunities present themselves in social spaces where it’s normal to walk up to people and start talking but other times there’s a lady with colorful hair that I keep running into at the store that I decide I need to talk to.  I’m always on the lookout, postcards in my bag, ready to recruit.

Because I’m awkward, I start sentences with “This might sound weird but…” and I’m sure by then whoever I’m talking to is calculating the seconds until they can walk away.  Most people take the postcard, some ask questions or vaguely know what roller derby is and that’s encouraging but usually I feel defeated before I start talking.  Sure, they might join stop by a practice OR they could go home and tell everyone they know about the weird lady who talked to them at the store.  I guess being memorable is half the battle though so I’ll take that as a win.

Another thing that makes recruiting feel weird is that we’re recruiting 18 and up now so every once in a while I’m trying to figure out if someone is 18 or not.  Just writing that sentence makes me feel strange.  I know I didn’t look 18 when I was 18 so I assume other people don’t either.

Then there’s recruiting at the roller rink, which seems like it would be shooting fish in a barrel.  We’ve picked up a few people from the rink and some days it seems like everyone wants to talk but have you ever started a conversation with a stranger mid-skate?  You have to sidle up to them, make eye contact and then hold that long enough to signal that you want to talk…Not to mention the challenge of being heard over “Firework” while dodging the occasional rogue skater.  It sounds something like this…

Me:  Hello.

Them:  Hi.

Me:  Do you want to play roller derby?

Them:  What?

Me:  Roller derby, do you want to play roller derby?

Them:  Polar derby?  What is that?  Is it cold?

Me:  No, ROLLER derby, on skates.

Suddenly a One Direction song starts, preteens flood the rink and the other person skates away from me wondering why I’m yelling about polar bears on skates.

Recruiting isn’t all bad though, people are usually more open to roller derby than I’ve previously assumed or they offer up some sort of connection that’s useful later on.  The moral in all of my promoting adventures is probably that you never know who will be interested.  Well at least that’s what I tell myself when I accidentally stalk people in the frozen food aisle.

I haven’t watched a parade from the sidelines for three years now.  Ever since the beginning of Shoreline Roller Derby, there have been parades to be in, especially in March.  If you “Like” any roller derby leagues on facebook, chances are your feed has a few parade pictures on it this weekend.  Roller derby and parades go together pretty well since parades mean skating and wearing purposely ridiculous outfits, two things derby people excel at.

Today I was in the New London parade and next Sunday I’ll be in the Mystic parade.  Unfortunately we missed out on snagging a spot in the Norwich parade, maybe next year.  Today was my first time in the New London parade and it was great, green time…even though I fell towards the end.

That’s right, I fell.  I was got all caught up in handing out postcards to people along the route and was going a little too fast to stop before the sidewalk.  Instead of barreling into the crowd, I did a less than graceful one-knee fall (when you put one knee on the ground to slow yourself down).  Sure I looked a little ridiculous, but I didn’t slam into anyone and I don’t think there were any photographers around so hopefully it was a non-event to the onlookers.

Parades are also great because you can reach a lot of people in a short amount of time.  In my head at least, everyone knows about Shoreline Roller Derby and roller derby in general but of course that’s not the case so while you’re skating along you can hear people say stuff like, “Oh! Roller derby!  I didn’t know that was here!”

During my first trip through the Mystic parade some of my coworkers discovered I was in the league. We were near the end of the parade and a few revelers yelled, “Erin COX!” and holy crap, there were a few of my coworkers (obviously me playing roller derby is not a secret at work, I just don’t talk to everyone on a daily basis so they didn’t know until then).

As far as standouts, today it’s hard to say what stuck out in the parade because I only saw some of the middle of it.  A cool looking jump rope team, lots of stately Irish Wolfhounds and OutCT’s interpretation of the Wizard of Oz were my own highlights.  I’m sure there were lots of fantastic traditional Irish bands and marching groups in the parade, but when you’re part of the parade you don’t really get to watch it.

In any event, if you saw me fall in the parade today I hope you weren’t too scandalized by my abrupt fall (also I hope I only muttered that expletive in my head and not out loud), I guess I was just too excited to hand out postcards to you to worry about stopping.

Since I addressed one big misconception in the last post, it’s time to address the others.  I told myself I wouldn’t write any listicles, but sometimes that’s the best way to get a point across so here are a few things to set straight.

1.        First and foremost:  We are not fighting.  Yes this is aggressive, yes it’s a high contact sport but we have rules about everything and if you straight-up fight someone, you will be ejected, period.  There’s no hair pulling, spitting, biting, clotheslining, punching, kicking or tripping, at least not on purpose.  In fact, if someone accidentally trips over your foot (or you) you might get a penalty so it’s best to keep your limbs to yourself. 

2.       This is not staged.   We might have an idea of who is going to win based on rankings or who played who last year, but at the beginning of a bout we don’t know how it’s going to go.  There’s no narrative we’re sticking to, we just play and whatever happens, happens.

3.       No one owns us.  There are some leagues that have one owner and if that works for them then that’s swell, but all of the leagues in Connecticut are run democratically by the skaters with a Board of Directors or some such governing body.  We all work to make this machine run, there’s no overlord sitting in an office somewhere stroking their cat and making evil plans for world domination. 

4.       There’s no perfect body type for roller derby.  It’s one of the things I love about this sport because I’m not tiny and probably never will be but that’s fine because I’m busy getting faster and stronger.  There are people of all different shapes and sizes in every level of roller derby.  You just have to be 18+ (21+ for some leagues) and have health insurance to start skating. 

5.       We’re not skating around in our underwear.   Some people skate in booty shorts and a half shirt, some people rock yoga pants and regular t-shirts.  It’s true that derby loves sparkly, stretchy, slightly obnoxious clothing but that doesn’t necessarily have to be short or tight.  Besides what a team decides to wear, everyone dresses themselves because we’re all grown-ups. 

6.      Roller derby is something you can bring kids to.  Most skaters and referees are parents, so half the kids in the audience are probably there to see their parents skate and some even volunteer at events with us.  It never occurred to me that people would find this notable, but people seem to find it surprising.

7.       We’re not hitting each other because we’re angry.   Some people find derby is an outlet for anger, some don’t.  Like any other physical exertion, it goes a long way towards getting your frustration out, but if you’re thinking about much more than what you’re doing, that’s a recipe for disaster because there’s a lot to pay attention to.

8.       The leagues in the area play flat track roller derby.  Banked track roller derby still exists and it’s awesome, but flat track roller derby is much more portable and less expensive to pull off.  Personally I would love to try banked track roller derby, I just haven’t had the chance yet. 

9.        Tattoos, piercings and colorful hairstyles aren’t mandatory.  If you’re tattooed, great, if you’re not, great.  We don’t care.  There is a definite derby aesthetic that you’re likely to see, but you don’t have to fit that.  I don’t and no one gives me crap about it.  Leagues are not going to shun you if you don’t fit into the “derby” box, just be yourself.

“Toes, toes, toes, toes, toes, toe, toes!”, My physical therapist commands me as I hop around the room, pushing off the floor as much as I can.  As derby injuries go, mine wasn’t that bad but I’m still working my way back from the sidelines.  I wasn’t exactly springy before I hurt myself and this is one of the last hurdles to getting my crankle (cranky-ankle) back to normal, so “Toes!” it is because I have to be able to clear 6 inches to get back to full contact.

One misconception people have is that the first day you show up at practice you’re automatically thrown into the thick of it.  Like we just tell you the rules, put the jammer star on your head and say, “Go for it!”  But A) that’s not how it works and B) that would be insane.  There’s a lot you have to know and be comfortable doing before you start scrimmaging, so to make sure everyone is held to the same standard, we assess people.  When I say “we” I don’t just mean Shoreline Roller Derby, I mean all WFTDA leagues.

Women’s roller derby leagues in Connecticut all play roller derby using the ruleset put together by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, the mens leagues in the area go by Men’s Roller Derby Association standards.  Both organizations set the standards needed to pass to be able to bout in a WFTDA or MRDA sanctioned game.  There are a lot more rulesets out there that both men and women can play by, but for now I’ll just mention the two organizations.

In any event, if you join a league don’t expect to be thrown to the wolves right away.  You will spend as long as you need to get to full contact.  In the meantime there’s basics like endurance and footwork to keep you busy, but since I miss the full contact part of the sport, I’ve been training for the assessment.

Assessment days are a bit of a roller coaster, some people do better than they think they will and get a boost of confidence, others get stressed out and bogged down but this last assessment day was productive for a lot of people, including myself.  As people ladies passed what skills they had left there was a little cheer and then they got to join the skaters practicing hits on the track

After a few tries I cleared that pesky 6 inches and did my falls to pass my first assessment and move on.  Back on the track I was welcomed with a quick shoulder hit I wasn’t ready for and was back on the floor, but nothing was broken and I got back up.  Hello again can openers and hello again contact, nice to be back.  

Twin Gats and I at Five Stride skate shop. (L-R) OMG, me, Twin Gats, Bonnie Thunders. Picture courtesy of Stoli Staci.

On the road to Long Island we needed a way to productively kill some time so we decided to stop by Five Stride skate shop in Brooklyn.  I was excited about this spontaneous pit stop because not only would this my first time in Brooklyn and first time in a skate shop, but there was a pretty good chance of meeting some derby greatness while we were there.  Sure enough when we walk in the shop there’s Bonnie Thunders and OMG, helping out some other customers.  As I walk around and look at stuff I’m thinking, “Holy crap, there are some Team USA skaters over there, don’t be weird.”

Bonnie Thunders and OMG skate for Gotham Girls Roller Derby, based in New York.  Gotham’s All-Stars have won the last 3 WFTDA Championships, an official three-peat achievement.  Not only that, but they’re both on Team USA for the Blood and Thunder World Cup.  So for us to meet them is like a player for a small college team meeting someone on the fast track to the hall of fame*.

Usually I freeze up in the presence of the derby famous, and when I say “freeze-up” I mean they’re a foot away from me just sitting there and all I can do is make eye-contact with my nearest derby friend and have a conversation via dramatic looks and some brow raising.  I could just be normal and say hi, but instead I get super awkward like a teenager with a crush.  There’s no need for all these complicated eyeball maneuvers though because I have yet to have brush with a certified all-star that wasn’t at least congenial. 

As you can tell by the picture above, we talked to them and took pictures (Stoli Staci can’t even take a picture without making me laugh).  You can tell they’re used to having their picture taken by now, heck even Freddy their dog seemed like he was used to posing.  I bought some socks and a GGRD tank top that I put on as soon as I got home that night and wore the whole next day and some of the day after like a favorite Christmas present.  The store itself was well-stocked and welcoming, more stores need affable dogs trolling for belly-scratches. 

The whole roadtrip was excellent; there was lots of ridiculous music, conversations about DragRace, we didn’t run into any annoying weather, no one went to the Emergency Room and the bout was fun to watch.  The Salty Broads didn’t win but they had a comeback in the second half with some teamwork and a lot of new Broads jamming for the first time.  Sure we lost by 50 points but in the World of derby that isn’t that bad and it just serves to make the rematch later this year more interesting. 

*Yes derby people, I know this is a clumsy analogy but it’s the closest/most relatable one I could think of, please note I do not have a degree in Comparative Sportsology. 

By the time this posts, I will be on my way to Long Island with a few other Broads.  Today is the Salty Broads first bout of the season and we’re going to East Setauket, New York to play Strong Island Derby Revolution.  I’m still not boutable but I’m going with to be supportive and hawk some merchandise.  If I don’t go I’ll be stressed out about it from 8-10PM so I might as well go.

Strong Island Derby Revolution is the first league that Shoreline ever played.  You could say that the two leagues have grown up together, we were both founded around the same time and that bout was a first for both of us.  Shoreline won that first bout, but only by 2 and in subsequent bouts we’ve each won once.

Travel teams are a concept that people seem to have trouble understanding but really it’s simple; leagues have bouts against other leagues and the teams that play against other leagues are travel teams.  If it’s more relatable, think of them like high school teams.  Most leagues fluctuate between 1-2 teams, so think of them as Varsity and JV, the Salty Broads are Shoreline’s Varsity team.  Like any other team, the Broads sometimes lose players to people moving, switching leagues or getting injured (sorry), so today will be the first travel bout for a lot of Broads.  Now the Strong Island bout is a derby milestone for a whole new group of Shoreline players, it’s kind of lovely.

Roadtrips are fun, tiring, sometimes boisterous undertakings.  Being an introvert I love/hate them but they’re always worth it.  Like any family roadtrip there’s bonding and hijinks along the way but we have the added bonus of bout day nerves on top of everything.  A lot of players bring their family along, which is good because then at least we have some fans in the area.

The last roadtrip to Strong Island started around 11AM with a bunch of us running from a smoking car on the side of the road and ended around 2 AM with lots of dancing and jokes about Gangnam style and except for the car trouble I expect today to be another adventure.  So if you see a car with a lot of people in it and derby stickers all over it hurtling down the freeway on the weekend you can bet they’re on their way to a bout. I try to switch around who I travel with but there usually ends up being a loud car and a quiet car.  Today I’m traveling with Twin Gats and Stoli Staci so honestly I’m not sure which car I’m in, but I’m looking forward to it (and I’ll take some shareable pictures on the way).