Category Archives: Comedy

‘Hateful Eight’ Not That Great

The_Hateful_EightNothing says “holiday season” like over-the-top blood and f-bombs.

 

“The Hateful Eight” is, ironically, the eighth feature film from writer-director Quentin Tarantino. When eight strangers (Samuel L. Jackson, Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Walton Goggins, Demián Bichir, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen and Bruce Dern) get trapped in a lodge during a blizzard in post-Civil War Wyoming, they begin to realize that not everyone is who they say they are.

 

I’m not a huge Tarantino fan, but I do think every one of his films are varying degrees of solid, with “Inglourious Basterds” being his crowning achievement (and one of the better films of the past 10 years). So I went into “Hateful Eight” just expecting fun dialogue and explosive shootouts, as have come associated with Tarantino films. And it is with regret that I say that this is the first time I have come out of one of his films feeling something close to disappointment.

 

It takes a while for “Hateful Eight” to get going, as the first almost hour is just characters coming into the story, and this is my first gripe with the film. Most every single character is introduced to fellow characters, and the audience, the same way: a third party says something along the lines of, “no way! Is that really [insert character’s name, occupation and claim to fame here]?!” It is pretty lazy to get exposition out of the way using this method, but coming from Tarantino, the so-called master of dialogue, it is almost insulting.

 

Once things start to get going, they do get going, with some intrigue and a nice little mystery. Only the film doesn’t allow you to play along and solve the mystery yourself, it just lets things play out. It is interesting to see how everything goes down, but since there aren’t any clues given, all you can do is sit; guessing and seeing if you were right would’ve been more fun.

 

There eventually is all the blood that Tarantino is known for, and as far as quantity of it this may be his most plentiful yet. But if you’re catching on to the trend of this review, this compliment is accompanied with a “but.” And the but here is since the whole film takes place inside of a one room cabin, the action feels compacted and isolated; there’s no space for the characters to really breath. One could argue that is the point of the film and it very well may be, but it does sometimes just take away a sense of fun from the Tarantino shootouts we’ve been spoiled by over the years.

 

I enjoyed “The Hateful Eight” in bits and pieces, but it is definitely a letdown. The twists aren’t quite mind-blowing enough, the action isn’t quite satisfying enough, and the dialogue just doesn’t have quite enough pop. There are a few smart moments of political and social insight that may get some thinking, but otherwise there isn’t much in this movie worth remembering, and that’s a gosh darn shame.

Critics Rating: 6/10

Variety

Variety

‘Ridiculous Six’ May Be Sandler’s Worst

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The_Ridiculous_6_posterAdam Sandler may not be funny, but give him credit; he is one heck of a businessman.

“The Ridiculous Six” is the first of Sandler’s four film deal with Netflix (because he wised up and realized people have gotten too smart to pay theatrical price for his “comedies”). The film stars Sandler, Terry Crews, Jorge Garcia, Taylor Lautner, Rob Schneider, and Luke Wilson as half-brothers who must set out to rescue their father (Nick Nolte) in the Wild West. Frank Coraci directs.

I personally gave up on Sandler long ago, and I was never a huge fan in the first place. I think he is great in films that he doesn’t write/produce (like the underappreciated “Funny People”), but all too often (aka always) he phones in his performances and instead just delivers an unfunny film as an excuse to go on vacation with his friends. Clearly Sandler realized audiences were wising up to his act and decided to strike up a deal with Netflix (which, why, Netflix? You’re doing so well…), where his films cannot be judged off their lack of box office success. But maybe not having the stress of the box office would make Sandler try, and maybe being with director Frank Coraci, who directed Sandler’s arguable best film, “The Wedding Singer,” would be the kick-in-the-butt he needed. Yeah. And maybe Donald Trump isn’t insane.

I went into this movie thinking it was going to be a bad, lazy, sexist, racist, unfunny Adam Sandler film, and lo and behold, I was right. But there is just something about “Ridiculous Six” that seems even worse. It is somehow worse than his film from earlier in 2015, “Pixels,” and arguably the worst film of his career (it is without a doubt his worst performance).

I guess I’ll break this film down by what it is and what it isn’t. First: in true Sandler fashion, it is lazy. You want an example of one of the jokes? A donkey projectile poops against a wall for five seconds. Now if you thought that wasn’t funny the first time, you’re going to stare in amazement at the next four occurrences. No joke, I was leaning over to say something to my friend (who had the misfortune of watching this alongside me) and the first time the donkey did its thing I genuinely exclaimed, “what the [expletive] was that!?” Not because I was frightened by a jump scare, but because it is so random and so juvenile that it mere existence took my inner-being by surprise.

The film is also racist and sexist, per ush. There are plenty of Native American “jokes” sprinkled throughout the film (and I don’t put jokes in quotes because they’re tasteless and I’m being PC; I put it in quotes because they never show anything resembling an attempt to be funny). There are also black and Mexican jokes galore; Rob Schneider plays a Hispanic man who wears a sombrero the entire film. Get it? Because he’s Mexican? And they ride donkeys and have sombreros? HA!

There’s then a scene where the Six come across Abner Doubleday as he is inventing baseball (the film’s only scene of merit, as it pokes fun at some of the sport’s sillier rules). However, and I kid you not, in the moment leading up to the scene I turned to my friend and said, “well I mean the Natives and Hispanics are getting hit pretty hard, but at least Sandler is leaving the Asians alone.” I jinxed it. Because mere moments later, the men come across Doubleday talking to a group of Asian men, all wearing stereotypical Asian headwear, and I let out a long sigh and “offff course.”

Then there’s the classic Sandler trope that God-forbid any female character impacts the plot. Also may Hell freeze over if any woman has ANYTHING to offer besides their cleavage. The one woman person who has the benefit of being more than a flesh trophy is captured and escapes in the same scene, begging the question why the scene exists, and then only returns to become a damsel in distress in the film’s climax.

And the editing in this film, oh my God. Some scenes just draw on forever (did I mention this film is two hours long?). My only theory is the film made it through the first cut of edits and the editor quit because he could not in good conscience watch any more of this film, much less take part in sending something out into the internet that would be seen by millions of innocent, underserving civilians.

I’ll give the film a pat on the back, at least it is…watchable? Like it isn’t like “Fantastic Four” bad where I was squirming in my seat and needed the film to be over. I was having a good enough time making fun of it, and I did laugh maybe three times, albeit I instantly felt guilty for doing so.

Here’s the bottom line about “The Ridiculous Six” besides “don’t watch it.” It is just another and yet somehow worse Adam Sandler film, and further proof he does not care about you or any another movie-lover. He only cares about getting richer and hanging out with his friends, and for that he is a brilliant and ruthless businessman. It will be interesting to see if Netflix honors the remaining three films on Sandler’s contract, because I cannot see a single person itching to see anymore Sandler anytime soon.

Critics Rating: 3/10

Variety

Bullock Saves ‘Brand’ from Being a Crisis

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Our_Brand_Is_Crisis_(2015_film)_POSTERWell this movie may not be a crisis, but it isn’t that good, either…

“Our Brand Is Crisis” stars Sandra Bullock as a political strategist who comes out of retirement to help a Bolivia presidential candidate. Billy Bob Thornton, Anthony Mackie and Joaqium de Almeida also star as David Gordon Green directs. The film is partially based on the true story of the 2002 Bolivia election.

The film is produced by George Clooney, and was at one time supposed to feature him in the starring role as well as the director’s chair. But somewhere along the line the role went to Bullock and the character was rewritten as a woman, and we have the movie we have. The movie may have been different with Clooney in the starring role, however I can’t imagine it would have been much better. As I’m sure Clooney would have done, Bullock is the saving grace of the film, lifting it up and at some points saving it from a script that is scattershot and features major shifts in tone.

The interesting thing about Bullock in “Our Brand Is Crisis” (a role that screams Golden Globe nomination) is that she seems blissfully unaware of how poor the movie around her is. She skates along, spewing out quotes from politicians and military leaders, and occasionally gives passionate speeches. It is an interesting character and by far the best part of the movie. Every time things seem to be slowing down Bullock gives it a shot of energy, however her flare may expose the flaws the film has.

The tone of the film is all over the place. There are a few chuckles that come out of nowhere (thanks to the always likable Anthony Mackie) but the film isn’t constantly funny enough to be a comedy. On the flip side the film’s dramatic heft stems from randomly inserted story points, like Bullock’s character disclosing randomly halfway through the film that she suffers from depression; and then never touching on that topic again. There’s a point where Mackie’s character says negative ad campaigns are like a bomb, you can blow your opponent up but you don’t know where the votes are going to land. The tone of this film is a lot like that; they just set off an explosive in the genre factory and prayed things ended up in the right place (they didn’t).

Oh, and can we talk about Billy Bob Thornton’s character because what the heck was that? He plays the political adversary to Bullock and when he’s not making sexual innuendos at Bullock (a storyline that never reaches fruition), he’s coming off very uncomfortable for the viewer. And one may say that’s the point, he’s a sleaze ball; well the presidential candidate is a scumbag human, too, but at no point did I feel a sense of awkwardness just seeing his character on screen.

Some of the behind-the-scenes of political campaigns is fun, and like I said Bullock steals the show (and made me want to start researching quotations that I can spew out at random) but all too often I found myself disinterested in “Our Brand Is Crisis.”

Here’s the bottom line: I saw this film yesterday, and it already feels like it was a month ago, that’s how far this thing has already faded into my mind. If you’re a Bullock fan is this worth checking out if it’s on TV one Friday night? Sure. But to most everyone else, you’ll find the film about as fun as watching a real presidential debate; maybe less because there’s no Donald Trump.

Critics Rating: 5/10

our brand

Variety

Flawed ‘Intern’ Gets by on Charm

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The_Intern_PosterAh, September. You wonderful buffer between summer blockbusters and Oscar season…

“The Intern” stars Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway and is written and directed by Nancy Meyers. When retirement proves to be too boring for 70-year-old Ben Whittaker (De Niro), he enrolls in a senior internship program at an internet fashion company led by Jules Ostin (Hathaway). Rene Russo, Adam DeVine, and Anders Holm co-star.

September usually contains two types of movies: trash that couldn’t fit into January and August (“The Transporter Refueled”) and decent films that still aren’t quite good enough to be worthy of Oscar season (“Black Mass,” even if Depp will get his nod). “The Intern” falls into the latter category, as it is a flawed but charming little film that never tries to be more than it is not.

Anne Hathaway makes everything she’s in better, that’s long established (if you don’t believe me try watching “Brides Wars” or “Les Misérables” and skip over her scenes and tell me with a straight face those movies are enjoyable). Meanwhile it’s been a while since Robert De Niro actually tried to do some serious acting (one could argue he has given two dedicated performances the past 10 years). So they may seem like an odd pairing, but their abstract chemistry is what makes “The Intern” work.

There are a few routes this film could have taken, and had it chosen those paths it would have been a conventional feel-good story, likely featuring a hardened boss who has to continuously teach her technology challenged senior citizen intern about the modern world. But writer/director Meyers instead choses to go an alternative route, still making De Niro’s character a fish-out-of-water, but never panders us or tries to force “ha! He’s old, get it?!” jokes down our throats. And instead of starting out like Sandra Bullock’s unlikable boss in “The Proposal,” Hathaway is just a busybody who we like from the get-go, which makes her easier for the audience to root for and relate to.

The film has its share of chuckle moments, and two laugh-out-loud gags including a fantastic sequence where De Niro and a group of other interns break into a house and steal a computer, but mostly the film skates by on its charm. Like I said, Hathaway is likable no matter what, but De Niro has this sense of optimism about him that is just infectious, and it puts you in a happy mood right out the gate.

Now I have to list the film’s flaws, both because that’s part of the job of movie reviewing and because I am a cynical person by nature. The film tries to force conflict into random segments just for the sake of having conflict, and all it does is add unnecessary time to the film’s length, which brings me to my biggest problem with the film.

Although I was never bored, the film isn’t paced well. After that brilliant robbery scene I figured the film had covered all the bases it needed to and would begin to wrap up; except that was only around the halfway point of the film (the running time is two hours). There are numerous points, in fact, that I thought the film would begin to end, only to have it introduce new plotlines. It isn’t overindulgence for ego sake like a Peter Jackson film, but it does stop the film from being breezy.

“The Intern” is pretty much exactly what you would expect to get based on the trailer, director, cast and/or plot, and that’s ok. It is flawed, sure, but those flaws are for the most part outweighed by dedicated work from Hathaway, De Niro and company. It’s a good date movie for all ages, and a nice buffer film as we enter the Fall Movie Season.

Critics Rating: 6/10

Vaariety

Vaariety

‘American Ultra’ is Ultra Stupid

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American_Ultra_posterWell, the dream eventually had to die. After a surprisingly solid start to August (“The Gift” and “Straight Outta Compton” rank among the year’s best films), we are back to the regular dumping of dumpster movies in the dog days of summer.

“American Ultra” stars Jesse Eisenberg as a stoner who is actually a sleeper agent for the CIA. After being targeted for death, he is activated and alongside his stoner-in-crime girlfriend (Kristen Stewart) must stop the CIA agents (led by Topher Grace) who want him gone. Connie Britton and John Leguizamo also star as Nima Nourizadeh (or as I like to call him, “Nima Nour—yeah, that guy”) directs.

Stoner comedies are a fickle bunch. Some transcend expectations and work as a plain comedy for the sober, like “Harold and Kumar” or “Pineapple Express.” Others are just plain stupid and aren’t fun for anyone, like “Your Highness.” And then there are the stoner comedies that are probably wonderfully trippy when you’re high, but aren’t great if you watch it while not on drugs (*clears throat* which should be all the time, because drugs are bad and illegal!). “American Ultra” falls into that third category.

I will give credit where credit is due: “American Ultra” knows it is a stupid stoner comedy, and very rarely tries to be anything more. The action is enjoyably and mostly chaotic, which Nourizadeh proved he is capable of capturing in his only other directorial project, “Project X,” and all the actors seem to be dedicated to having a good time. For what it’s worth, “American Ultra” is a relatively well-made movie; it’s just a shame it is a relatively not good one.

As I said above, “American Ultra” is probably a very good time if watched under proper circumstances, but a stoner comedy, in my opinion, shouldn’t pander just to that demo. Films like “Pineapple” or “Harold and Kumar” are great because they know not all of their audience will be high while watching, so low-barrel humor and trippy black light sequences aren’t the only source of entertainment they strive to provide. “Ultra” doesn’t have very many well-written jokes, so unless Topher Grace saying the f-bomb several times during a temper tantrum is your kind of humor, then there isn’t much in the film to laugh at.

One other thing that annoyed me was a character played by Walton Goggins. This is the most minor of spoilers but it isn’t going to ruin the movie and to be honest, you shouldn’t care. It is revealed early in the film that Grace’s character has been training mentally insane people to be CIA agents; however the film treats Goggins’ character as if he is mentally challenged. He acts like a young child and even though the film tries to justify his and its actions by saying “they messed with his head,” I found it in poor taste and just plain grating.

Look, I know “American Ultra” wasn’t trying to be a smart, sophisticated comedy, but if it featured more than three laughs I would have appreciated the effort. This is exactly the kind of movie you will find playing on Comedy Central at 3pm on a Saturday, and maybe as background noise it works. But I didn’t find it all too entertaining, despite the cast’s admirable efforts and the crew’s impressive production work. Go rewatch “Pineapple Express” instead of watching this; better yet, go see “Straight Outta Compton.” Your brain and your wallet will thank you.

Critics Rating: 4/10

Variety

Variety

‘Man from U.N.C.L.E.’ Convoluted But Cool

imageSomewhere between the style of “Mission: Impossible” and the wit of James Bond lies “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”

Based on the ’60s TV show of the same name, “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” stars Henry Cavill as CIA agent Napoleon Solo and Armie Hammer as KBG agent Illya Kuryakin. Against each of their wills, the two must team up to stop an organization from building a nuclear bomb. Guy Richie directs and co-writes as Alicia Vikander and Hugh Grant also star.

This film was originally supposed to come out this past January, but it was pushed back until August. Neither month usually indicates studios having faith in the films that are released during them, so the fact that “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” is not a complete train wreck should be a victory within itself. What’s more, is the film is a fun, light-hearted take on the early spy films, with just enough style to overcome its lack of substance.

One of my biggest gripes about Henry Cavill in “Man of Steel” was his American accent. It never felt authentic, as if the British native read “How Americans Talk for Dummies” and just walked on set. In “U.N.C.L.E.” (boy, that is getting annoying to keep typing), Cavill is able to give an almost satirical spin on the classy, suave American secret agents, and it works to his benefit. If you’ve ever watched “Archer” (which if you haven’t, I highly recommend you do), Cavill’s Solo is pretty much a real-life version of the show’s titular character: a smooth-talking womanizer who almost always has a Scotch in hand.

Paired with Cavill is Armie Hammer, using a somewhat awkward Russian accent. I like Armie in most everything he does (we’re on a first name basis because we’re good friends), but I have to wonder the logic behind the casting here. British actors portraying American characters is nothing new (see: this film), but whenever Americans, or most any nationalities, really, use Russian accents it is almost always mocked. Hammer and Cavill have passable chemistry, but they never mesh the way the film wants them to.

Director Guy Richie has always been known for style-over-substance, and he makes no effort to change his ways here. The film looks great and features quick dialogue with editing to match, but those things come at the expense of a wooden, recycled plot. It’s a tale you’ve seen a hundred times: two feuding people must put aside their differences in order to defeat a common enemy. It’s nothing new and the film never tries to throw any twists in the formula.

Most of the action is shot very well, including a fantastically entertaining (if not a bit misleading) opening car chase sequence. Richie knows where to put a camera, and Cavill and Hammer are able to sell their stunts.

How much fun and enjoyment you get out of “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” really depends on your ability to overlook simplicity. Cavill gives a charming and humorous performance and the set pieces of 1963 Rome and Berlin provide eye candy, but some of the other performances are over-the-top and the plot is cliché cardboard. In mid-August you can’t expect much from movies, but if you are just looking for a good, simple time at the cinema, then “U.N.C.L.E.’s” your uncle.

Critics Rating: 6/10

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Streep Makes ‘Ricki’ Watchable

Ricki_and_the_Flash_posterWell, I’ll give Meryl Streep credit: she is definitely incapable of phoning in a bad performance.

“Ricki and the Flash” [insert long sigh at that title] stars Streep as an aging rock star who goes back home and try and make things right with her estranged family. Kevin Kline and Streep’s real-life daughter Mamie Gummer also star, as Jonathan Demme directs and Diablo Cody writes.

The trailer for this film made me roll my eyes every time I saw it (which, based on my addiction to movie theaters, means I saw it at least four times). It seemed sappy and standard and above all else cliché, but I still ended up seeing it. If you’re wondering why I saw it, it’s a combination of the aforementioned addiction and my friend and I honestly saying to one another, “hey, wouldn’t it be hilarious if we saw a 10am Friday showing of that new Meryl Streep movie? Like, as an ironic statement? Ha!” (I’m pretty sure it was a game of chicken that both of us just didn’t call the other’s bluff on). Anyways, getting off track, where was I?

Oh, right. “Ricki and the Flash” [sigh]. After seeing the film, I can confirm that it is sappy and standard and naturally clichéd, but darn it does Meryl Streep make it mostly watchable.

It is a lazy and obvious statement, but just in case you’ve lived under a rock the past 50 years: Meryl Streep is very good at acting. Had she never gotten her big break in movies, she could have become a very successful lawyer, or quarterback of the New England Patriots (Brady zing). And here she plays a role we have seen a hundred times in movies yet her dedication to the character is admirable. Ricki is the typical free spirit, “I live for rock and roll!” American gal, and while you understand her kids’ resentment towards her for never being there for them, you also empathize with her because she was doing following what she considered her dream, and only now is realizing she made the wrong decision.

If all you wanted to see from this movie was some family drama and Meryl Streep sing some cover songs, then you can stop reading now because you’ll get exactly what you desired from this experience. Anyone else, continue on with me. The biggest problem I have with “Ricki” is that almost none of the conflicts in the film are resolved, and the ones that are are done so quickly without any true effort that it is almost annoying.

The trailer paints the plot as Ricki needing to go home because her daughter’s husband left her, and that is the case; for about 40 minutes. Then Ricki leaves and goes back to LA where she has a “will they-won’t they” (they will) relationship with her band’s guitarist (Rick Springfield). I just never bought how she could constantly emasculate him on stage in front of their 12 adoring bar fans and yet he still would want her (I may have oversold how big a deal Ricki and the Flash are; they play at a bar in front of the same dozen people every night. It’s not like she left her family and sold her soul for fortune and fame).

Demme, known for other small musical comedies like “Silence of the Lambs” and “Rachel Getting Married,” sometimes makes the musical performances distracting, but overall the film is shot nice and tight and he gives the actors plenty of room to breathe and move around.

Look, my friend and I were the only people in the theater without AARP cards, so clearly this film was not made with me in mind. If you love Streep, 70’s music, and all the conflict of feuding families without any of the rewarding resolutions, then “Ricki and the Flash” (seriously, they couldn’t think of a better title?) is the film for you. Streep will get her Golden Globe nomination and the film will be forgotten by the time the leaves begin to turn orange. Everyone can go home happy.

Critics Rating: 5/10

Meryl Streep

Variety

‘Vacation’ Is Bumpy but Often Funny Road Trip

Vacation_posterEvery summer there is a comedy that is underappreciated by critics but is actually pretty funny. 2013 had “We’re the Millers,” last year featured “Let’s Be Cops,” and now we have “Vacation.”

“Vacation” is the latest film in the National Lampoon franchise of the same name. The film follows Rusty Griswold (Ed Helms) who takes his family on a cross-country road trip to Walley World, the same theme park that he went to as a child. Christina Applegate plays Helms’ wife, as John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein write and make their directorial debuts.

I am a fan of Francis Daley and Goldstein’s writing. “Horrible Bosses” is one of my favorite comedies of all-time, and “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone” has more than its fair share of laughs. So maybe I’m biased when I say it, but “Vacation” is a very amusing time at the movies, even though it’s not without its share of flaws.

In case people like Adam Sander have forgotten, the first and foremost thing a comedy should do is produce laughs, and “Vacation” does that in large quantities. There is one scene in the film where I was actually rolling in my seat holding back tears I was laughing so hard, and that does not happen with me very often. Many of the jokes in the film are based off of awkward interactions and uncomfortable pauses, and directors Francis Daley and Goldstein do a good job knowing how long to hold the camera on an actor to get the proper reaction shot.

By and far the best part of the film is the younger son, played by Steele Stebbins. He curses, he verbally and physically abuses his older brother and he has wisecracking responses to most anything people say. His character may come off as too mean-spirited for some, but I bought it and thought he made the film.

A scene-stealing performance, however, comes from Charlie Day, who plays a white water rafting instructor. Day infuses some energy into the film just as it was starting to sag, and he produces several hardy laughs.

The film isn’t necessarily *good* like “Trainwreck” or “Spy,” and the plot is pretty thin. You get you standard road trip comedy hijinks, like crazy truck drivers and the car breaking down, so don’t go in expecting the re-invention of the wheel. You know how the film is going to play out, and at some parts that does make some scenes feel like byproducts of the sake of a single joke.

Some characters also are almost unbelievably stupid and naive, and even as someone who is forgiving of many things in dumb comedies, even I sometimes grew annoyed by their ignorance to certain situations.

I can best compare “Vacation” to “We’re the Millers,” in that if you are willing to overlook the implausible and cliché plot and just enjoy the film for being funny, then you’ll have a good time. I personally found the film an amusing way to enjoy two hours of my life, and compared to some of the other “comedies” from this summer like “Entourage” and “Pixels,” this is comic gold.

Critics Rating: 6/10

Variety

Variety

‘Pixels’ Another Lazy Sandler Shtick

PixelsOfficialPosterIt’s that magical time of the year again! The sun is warm, the AC is blasting, and we are all enjoying our summer at the movies; so naturally Adam Sandler has to come and ruin things with another one of his films.

“Pixels” stars Sandler, Josh Gad, Peter Dinklage and Kevin James as former childhood arcade protégés who are the last line of defense when aliens send real-life 1980’s video games to destroy Earth. Chris Columbus directs.

“Pixels” had a few things going for it. Yes it starred the dynamic duo of Sandler and James, but it also featured Josh Gad and Peter Dinklage, who have the power to bring smiles to the screen. It also was from director Chris Columbus, who has given us such gems as “Mrs. Doubtfire” and the first two Harry Potter films, and isn’t one of Sandler’s normal cronies, Dennis Dugan or Frank Coraci. And unlike normal Sandler films, this one featured an actual interesting plot.

So where did it all go wrong? Well my money is when the Happy Madison banner appeared on screen.

“Pixels” looked different than your typical Sandler film, but the end product is your typical Sandler film. Sandler gets a girl who is out of his league, Kevin James trips over things (“and it’s funny because he’s fat!”) and you get more product placement than the Super Bowl. And yet again Sandler laughs and skips his way to the bank after hanging out with his friends on a movie set in an exotic location (it’s a good gig if you can get it).

I’ll get the positives for this film out now, because I feel if I delay any longer anything commendable about “Pixels” will flee from my mind. Josh Gad has a few funny one-liners, some of the video games attacking famous monuments are cool, and the film is far from Sandler’s worst. Ok [cracks knuckles] let’s do this.

All you need to know about how serious this film wants you to take it is that Kevin James is the President of the United States. [long pause] Yeah, I know. And his wife is Jane Krakowski (who has one line of dialogue in the film, by the way). Yeah. I know. By the time I accepted these facts, the film was half over.

Speaking of being half over, this film is paced horribly. Well, I shouldn’t say that. The first 30 minutes are swift; it’s the next 75 that are numbingly slow. There’s a point where Sandler and Co. are partying and drinking and having a merry-ole-time (odds are they didn’t even know they were filming the movie, they were just celebrating taking more money from hardworking American’s pockets). I felt like that scene had to be somewhere near the end of the film, however much to my dismay there was still the overlong, over-CGI stuffed finale to endure.

I’m also having a hard time figuring out the desired demographic for this movie. It is based around 80’s games (and songs) like Pac-Man and Centipede, so you would think middle-aged adults, right? But wait, there’s lots of sex and fart jokes, so must be teenage boys. But hold up, there’s little talking Q*bert (if you don’t know what that is then my point is proven) that wets itself when nervous. So clearly this is aimed at little kids. I don’t know, man…

I officially gave up on Adam Sandler back in 2013 with “Grown Ups 2” but deep down I had hope “Pixels” may finally be him turning a leaf and actually trying. I was wrong; he is still putting in the bare-minimum effort. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”, they say. Well Adam Sandler has clearly never heard that saying because his formula is long broken but he doesn’t fix it, because that would require effort, something he hasn’t put into one of his Happy Madison films since 2005’s “Longest Yard.”

I don’t hate “Pixels,” despite what all the above implies, but it isn’t a good movie, and you don’t need to see it. Go watch the three minute short that the film is based off if you want to see video games attack a city. Peter Dinklage couldn’t save this movie, Chris Columbus couldn’t save this movie, heck, I doubt Mariano Rivera could save this trash.

Critics Rating: 3/10

Variety

Variety

‘Trainwreck’ a Dramedy That’s Right On Track

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Trainwreck_posterI found it funny that Paul Rudd and Judd Apatow used to make movies together all the time, and now each of them had their own movie come out in the same weekend. Anyone else chuckle? Nope, just me? Alright, well…onto the review.

“Trainwreck” is the latest film from director Judd Apatow, and is the first film he directed that isn’t written by him. Stepping in the writer’s shoes is Amy Schumer, who also stars. When a commitment-phobic working woman (Schumer) meets a sports doctor (Bill Hader), she begins to wonder if she has been living her life wrong. I know that plot sounds like near every rom-com ever, but as you’ll find out (by reading!), the film overcomes that. OK, moving on.

I’m a middling fan of Judd Apatow’s work. I enjoy all of his films about the same, but while they all often scratch greatness, they fail to reach their full potential. “Trainwreck” isn’t going to be a film I remember and reference for years to come, however it may be Apatow’s best film to date.

As I said above, the story of the film is pretty cliché; everything you think is going to happen will happen. So for the movie to succeed, it needed to be able to provide something extra, and “Trainwreck” does just that by having relatable moments, self-deprecation and a surprising amount of dramatic heft.

Amy Schumer, who has been on fire as of late and is being touted as a trailblazer for women in comedy, is very good in her first starring film role. She essentially is playing the version of herself that she jokes about in her standup, being the heavy drinker who goes home with any guy from the bar that she wants. She does a surprisingly tender work in some of the film’s more dramatic scenes, too, and until she becomes Melissa McCarthy and beats us over the head with her presence, I welcome more Amy Schumer in my life.

Doing fine work in supporting roles are Bill Hader (who I always forget how charming his is) and LeBron James, who plays a fictionalized version of himself. Hader does his normal deadpan nice guy routine, and LeBron makes a lot of references to Cleveland and the NBA, which I’m sure were entered specifically for the guys who are dragged to this by their girlfriends and wives (not to say the movie as a whole isn’t full of jokes for everyone).

The biggest problems with the film are the issues found in all Apatow films, in that there are plenty of scenes that exist for the sake of one joke, and if cut wouldn’t change the plot at all. And even though the runtime is two hours, just like with every one of his films you walk out feeling like the film lasted much longer than it actually did. The climax somewhat drags before suddenly ending, but it doesn’t derail the film (ha! “Derailed”! I didn’t even try and make that train wreck reference! I’m hilarious even when I don’t even mean to be…).

I enjoyed a lot about “Trainwreck,” and even if the plot is cliché and the narrative a bit rough around the edges, those flaws are mostly redeemed by charming actors and a smart script. How much fun you get out of the film really depends on how many raunchy jokes you can handle, but seeing as this is Apatow’s fifth directorial effort, you should know what to expect by now.

Critics Rating: 8/10

Variety

Variety