When I was 9 years old, one of my imminent goals in life was to acquire a pet turtle. I’m not sure exactly what attracted me to keeping a small reptile that intermittently retreated into its shell, but it most likely was because two of my cousins had these as pets.
Whatever the case, the spring I was 9, my mother agreed to take to me W.T. Grants in downtown Rome to buy my long-awaited turtle. Mom said she was doing it because I had a good report card that marking period, but I suspect she was equally as motivated, if not more so, to end to my pleas for a turtle at every meal.
In great family tradition, I named my turtle Speedy because it was the same name one of my cousins gave his pet.
For about two weeks, Speedy led a relatively quiet life with us in a small plastic turtle dish on our living room end table. That, too, came from W.T. Grants. The turtle dish was set right next to my perch on the couch so I could keep a close eye on him. As it turned out, however, it wasn’t close enough.
One day when I came home from school, Speedy wasn’t in his dish. In fact, Speedy wasn’t to be seen anywhere. For a few days, I held out hope that Speedy would return to his home, but he never didn’t. He seemingly had vanished.
Flash-forward about a month. My father was in our kitchen cooking a pot of spaghetti because was expecting one of his friends from Mohawk Airlines, Ed Capone, to come over for dinner. Dad joked that watching Ed Capone eat “was one of the Seven Wonders of the World,” He was taking special care to make something really good. for Mr. Capone he said. He even made a special trip to Loblaw’s to buy a jar of Ragu spaghetti sauce. Usually Dad left all the shopping (and cooking) to Mom, so this was special.
As I was making my way to the kitchen to watch my father, I was stopped by the sound of our poodle, Mitzi, chewing on something underneath a dining room chair. When I bent over to see what was in her mouth, I was in for a big surprise. It was Speedy — or actually, it was what was left of Speedy after a month’s time.
“Dad! Dad! I found Speedy!” I exclaimed as I ran into the kitchen holding the empty shell.
“What?” Dad groaned with a look of irritation.
“I found Speedy! Mitzi was chewing on him!” I persisted.
“What the hell do you want me to do with it? I’m cooking!” Dad snapped.
“We have to bury him,” I replied.
“I’ll tell you what I’ll do with it!” Dad firmly stated as he grabbed Speedy’s shell and hurled it into the trash can next to the stove.
I wordlessly stared into the garbage can and decided to leave the room. I instinctively knew to leave my father alone and not to push things any further.
Considering how I found Speedy’s remains inside our dog’s mouth, I guess being placed int the trash can as a final resting place really wasn’t that much more of a dishonor.