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‘Ted 2’ a Bearable but Bumpy Sequel

Ted_2_posterAs far as 2015 sequels go, “Ted 2” lies somewhere in the middle.

The follow-up to “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane’s 2012 hit, “Ted 2” follows John (Mark Wahlberg) and his talking teddy bear (voiced and motion captured by MacFarlane), who must prove Ted is human in a court of law in order for him to have a child with his wife. Amanda Seyfried also stars as MacFarlane directs and co-writes.

The first “Ted” was an entertaining bromance flick that made $550 million; so in other words, a sequel was inevitable. While I found MacFarlane’s last film “A Million Ways to Die in the West” amusing enough, I have been reminded on numerous occasions by various people that I am wrong and it is awful. So I walked into “Ted 2” just hoping this wouldn’t be another step back for MacFarlane.

The opening sequence of “Ted 2” had me worried. Very worried. Because there’s no joke to ruin, I’ll just tell you what happens: after the film opens with Ted getting married, it breaks out into a dance number. But it’s not for laughs, it’s played completely straight. I kept waiting for the joke to come or for someone to trip, but no one does. Then when it wrapped up I expected some one-liner acknowledging how dumb what we just sat through was, but it never comes. The movie just begins.

MacFarlane is a very talented guy, and as his hosting of the Oscars showed he can make song-and-dance amusing, but I really have no clue what the dance routine was doing in here, unless he lost a bet with the head of some tap dance studio.

But luckily, the film gets (sorta) better. Wahlberg and MacFarlane maintain the same quick chemistry from the first film, and some of the jokes are inspired and clever. There is one scene that may offend some viewers–but then again if you’re easily offended, don’t go to a Seth MacFarlane film–where John and Ted yell off-color suggestions to an improve group. It’s awful and in bad taste and I loved every second of it.

The biggest flaw “Ted 2” has is its pacing. There are times when the film just seems to drag, and it honestly becomes un…bear-able, to sit through (I’ll be here all week). It’s not so much the fault of the editing as much as the narrative. The plot of Ted wanting a kid and needing to prove he’s human only lasts about half the film; the second half is like the lovechild of “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” and the first “Ted.” That’s to say it becomes a buddy roadtrip film with the sideplot of the creepy stalker from the original film (Giovanni Ribisi) trying to kidnap Ted (*sigh* again). The final 25 minutes of the film had me getting anxious for it to just be over with.

Look, “Ted 2” is one of those films that you already knew whether or not you were going to see it before the trailers even came out; no review is going to alter your decision. That being said, I can still prepare you for what you’re walking into (or what you’re skipping). Like MacFarlane’s last film, “Million Ways to Die,” “Ted 2” suffers from pacing and a stretched-thin plot, however it is relatively funny. If you only care about watching a teddy bear say the f-bomb while throwing apples at joggers, then go enjoy yourself. If you need any real depth, development or surprises in your comedies, then you need not apply. I personally found enough enjoyment in “Ted 2” to avoid disappointment, but still not quite enough to feel satisfied.

Critics Rating: 5/10

Variety

Variety

‘A Million Ways to Die’ Funny but Messy

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A_Million_Ways_to_Die_in_the_West_posterIt’s becoming a larger and larger problem in Hollywood: trailers, particularly comedies, give too much away about a film, and when it comes time to watch it there is little surprise left. That is one of the flaws about “A Million Ways to Die in the West”, the second live-action film directed by Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane. The film features an ensemble cast, including Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris and Liam Neeson.

The trailer paints an entirely different plot than what the movie is actually about, and I’m finding it somewhat difficult to give a plot synopsis, but really all you have to know is the film is two hours of Seth MacFarlane, a sheep farmer, learning to fire a gun from Theron and complaining about how the Wild West is a terrible place.

I’ll make one thing clear: the film is funny. There were a couple times I think I missed a joke because I was laughing at something that was just said. And there is no doubting MacFarlane’s ability as a writer; he once again has some very clever and very funny envelope-pushing jokes that you laugh at, even when you know you shouldn’t be laughing. There are also a half-dozen cameos which are chuckle-worthy, and there is one that is brilliant…if you haven’t seen the trailer. Unfortunately for me, I did see the trailer and the surprise was ruined, which actually made me upset. I don’t know why they needed to ruin such a great thing, and they didn’t even start showing the cameo in the trailers until two weeks ago. Trailers, man…

The largest problem with “A Million Ways” is that, much like Peter Jackson or Quentin Tarantino, MacFarlane the director keeps most things he shoots in the final cut of the film. The running time of this movie clocks in at 116 minutes, and there are probably three faux endings before it finally abruptly ends. There really is no excuse for such a long running time with a comedy.

Much of the movie feels like an inside joke and rightfully so; the entire concept started as joke among MacFarlane and the film’s other writers Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild that the Old West must have been a deadly place to live. Much of the film is so awkwardly stitched together and there are so many random subplots that it just feels like a bunch of random scenes from a Family Guy episode just played back to back. They just threw a lot of jokes against the wall in hopes something would stick.

Each of the cast members brings something to the table (except Amanda Seyfried, who is in here simply to put one more big name on the cast list) and MacFarlane has his funny moments, but he just seems out of place as a live-action leading man. Some of his deliveries are awkward, and other times he just can’t hold up the scene with Theron or NPH (that’s what we cool kids call Neil Patrick Harris). I also have to imagine that Liam Neeson was cast as an American cowboy simply because Family Guy once made a joke that “nothing would sound more out-of-place than Liam Neeson trying to play an American cowboy”.

“A Million Ways to Die in the West” is messy and overlong for sure, but it is also funny. It isn’t on the same level as “This Is the End”, or even “Ted”, but it is still a fun time at the movies. I think MacFarlane should stick to making movies set in present day because he thrives off of pop culture references and lampooning American culture; not making a joke about tumble weeds.

Critics Rating: 6/10