Tag Archives: morgan freeman

‘Ted 2’ a Bearable but Bumpy Sequel

Ted_2_posterAs far as 2015 sequels go, “Ted 2” lies somewhere in the middle.

The follow-up to “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane’s 2012 hit, “Ted 2” follows John (Mark Wahlberg) and his talking teddy bear (voiced and motion captured by MacFarlane), who must prove Ted is human in a court of law in order for him to have a child with his wife. Amanda Seyfried also stars as MacFarlane directs and co-writes.

The first “Ted” was an entertaining bromance flick that made $550 million; so in other words, a sequel was inevitable. While I found MacFarlane’s last film “A Million Ways to Die in the West” amusing enough, I have been reminded on numerous occasions by various people that I am wrong and it is awful. So I walked into “Ted 2” just hoping this wouldn’t be another step back for MacFarlane.

The opening sequence of “Ted 2” had me worried. Very worried. Because there’s no joke to ruin, I’ll just tell you what happens: after the film opens with Ted getting married, it breaks out into a dance number. But it’s not for laughs, it’s played completely straight. I kept waiting for the joke to come or for someone to trip, but no one does. Then when it wrapped up I expected some one-liner acknowledging how dumb what we just sat through was, but it never comes. The movie just begins.

MacFarlane is a very talented guy, and as his hosting of the Oscars showed he can make song-and-dance amusing, but I really have no clue what the dance routine was doing in here, unless he lost a bet with the head of some tap dance studio.

But luckily, the film gets (sorta) better. Wahlberg and MacFarlane maintain the same quick chemistry from the first film, and some of the jokes are inspired and clever. There is one scene that may offend some viewers–but then again if you’re easily offended, don’t go to a Seth MacFarlane film–where John and Ted yell off-color suggestions to an improve group. It’s awful and in bad taste and I loved every second of it.

The biggest flaw “Ted 2” has is its pacing. There are times when the film just seems to drag, and it honestly becomes un…bear-able, to sit through (I’ll be here all week). It’s not so much the fault of the editing as much as the narrative. The plot of Ted wanting a kid and needing to prove he’s human only lasts about half the film; the second half is like the lovechild of “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” and the first “Ted.” That’s to say it becomes a buddy roadtrip film with the sideplot of the creepy stalker from the original film (Giovanni Ribisi) trying to kidnap Ted (*sigh* again). The final 25 minutes of the film had me getting anxious for it to just be over with.

Look, “Ted 2” is one of those films that you already knew whether or not you were going to see it before the trailers even came out; no review is going to alter your decision. That being said, I can still prepare you for what you’re walking into (or what you’re skipping). Like MacFarlane’s last film, “Million Ways to Die,” “Ted 2” suffers from pacing and a stretched-thin plot, however it is relatively funny. If you only care about watching a teddy bear say the f-bomb while throwing apples at joggers, then go enjoy yourself. If you need any real depth, development or surprises in your comedies, then you need not apply. I personally found enough enjoyment in “Ted 2” to avoid disappointment, but still not quite enough to feel satisfied.

Critics Rating: 5/10

Variety

Variety

‘Lucy’ All Dumb, No Fun

Lucy_(2014_film)_poster            Oh, boy.

Well, here goes nothing. In “Lucy”, Scarlett Johansson stars as the title character who begins to access more and more of her brain after accidently being injected with an experimental drug. Morgan Freeman costars as Luc Besson writes and directs.

The trailer for this film made it look like the film was going to be very, very bad; awkward dialogue paired with that awful Besson “humor” where random violence is supposed to be funny (because it’s a riot and totally hashtag relatable when someone shoots a cab driver for not speaking English in Taiwan, right?). Well rest easy because “Lucy” isn’t as bad as the commercials made it out to be; it’s worse.

I don’t think I have ever seen a movie try to be so smart, and then end up being so dumb. For the whole film, “Lucy” tries to ask questions while giving the impression that it has all the answers. It then pulls the rug out from under the audience in a messy (and moronic) climax. Seriously, by the time the film was wrapping up its painfully long 88 minute run time, I didn’t know what was going on. And you know you you’ve lost a filmgoer’s interest when I was questioning why a character still had a flip phone in the year 2014 instead of pondering what had just happened during the climax.

The film’s main interest point (at least in its own pretentious mind) is “oh boy, what’s going to happen when Lucy reaches 100% access of her brain?!” Only thing is, you don’t care. The more intelligent Lucy gets, the more dumb the movie gets. By the time Lucy has accessed 30% of her brain (instead of the normal person’s 10%) she can already throw other human beings with her mind. So do I really care to wait and find out what is going to happen when she reaches 70%? Spoiler: No, I don’t.

If this was a sitcom, it would be called “I Hate Lucy” (OK that was a lob down the middle). I just didn’t like much of anything in this movie. Besson does know how to shoot an action sequence, as demonstrated by the final 15 minutes being the only enjoyable part of “The Family”, and once again his climatic action scene is the highlight of the film. It’s fun enough when the guns are going off, but the fight isn’t enough to distract you from a plot that has become unintentionally hilarious.

“Lucy” is too moronic to be a smart sci-fi and too boring to constitute as dumb fun. The film doesn’t know what it wants to be, nor what message it wants to send. Really all I got out of it is “drugs are bad, m’kay?”. Johansson is an emotionless robot for most of the film, and nothing in the film is engaging. The film maintains that human beings use 10% of their brain; this film would be lucky if the people who made it exhumed anything over two.

Critics Rating: 3/10

Take the Gamble with ‘Last Vegas’

Last_Vegas_Poster

            All too often when a movie has more than two big names, especially comedies, those big names phone in their performances and the result is a lackluster film. However sometimes, just as in Las Vegas, we can get a surprise. And that surprise comes in “Last Vegas”, a comedy starring Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Kline and Robert De Niro as four lifelong friends who get together in Las Vegas for Douglas’ bachelor party. Jon Turteltaub directs.  

Ever since “The Hangover” has massive success in 2009, numerous films have tried to copy its “wolf pack in Vegas” formula and it almost always end up being a poor film (including the third Hangover film itself). But “Last Vegas”, despite all of its clichés and familiar plot, is likable and fresh, and that is due in large part to the chemistry between the four leads.

It would have been very understandable if the actors all licked a stamp and mailed in their performances (heck, De Niro has been doing it for near ten years now). We’ve seen movies with many big comedy stars get together and make an unfunny product (here’s looking at you, “Couple’s Retreat”). But never once in “Last Vegas” did I get the feeling the Oscar-winning actors didn’t care about being there, and that really added to the amount of fun I had with the movie.

The one who stands out the most is Kevin Kline. He has the largest character arch playing a man whose wife is allowing him to cheat on her while in Vegas in an attempt to save their marriage (they explain it better in the movie, I swear) and he then faces moral decisions the rest of the film. And some of those decisions lead to very funny moments, including one quick one-liner that left the audience roaring.

Yes, there is one (or five) too many Viagra jokes, and you can only poke fun at Florida for being the place elderly people go to die so many times, but for the most part these jokes never get annoying, it’s just sometimes awkward when no one laughs. And of course it is clichéd and predictable and the ending is all lovey-dovey and you get force fed life lessons about love and trust and never forgetting who your friends are. Because what would a movie be without life lessons? Look at “This Is the End”: it taught us to never hang out with Michael Cera because we won’t get raptured.

I don’t know why I liked “Last Vegas” as much as I did, but I just found it likable and charming. The actors are clearly having a blast, and Vegas is always makes for a fun backdrop (you know, unless you’re watching “Hangover 3”). If you like the actors, enjoy laughing, or Viagra puns are your thing (hey, no judging), then “Last Vegas” fits the bill. Because you know the saying: what happens in Vegas…can end up being a pretty fun time at the movies, assuming it’s not Hangover 3.

Critics Rating: 7/10