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Hill Steals the Show in ‘War Dogs’

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War_Dogs_2016_posterI know Jared Leto spent months in psych wards trying to get his Joker cackle just right, but Jonah Hill’s laugh in this is the best one cinema has had all year.

 

“War Dogs” stars Jonah Hill and Miles Teller as two 20-somethings who get government contracts to supply weapons to soldiers in the Middle East during the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. Todd Phillips co-writes and directs.

 

The trailer for this had a real “Pain & Gain” vibe, with a little bit of “The Big Short” thrown in. Now this was partially a compliment, since both of those films had solid trailers that made it seem like they would be colorful, irrelevant fun, but it also was a bit worrisome, since neither of those movies are very good. Well “War Dogs” is better than those two films and even if it isn’t as much fun as it could have been, it is still a mostly entertaining, slightly intelligent commentary on the Middle East wars.

 

Much like Adam McKay and “The Big Short,” “serious social commentary filmmaking” doesn’t come to mind when you think of Todd Phillips, the director of “The Hangover” and “Old School.” And while he technically has an Academy Award nomination (I mean, I say “technically” because it was a five-way nom for “Borat,” a film with basically no script), he has never really given us any actual quality films (“Hangover” and “Old School” are funny but they’re not great pieces of cinema). “War Dogs” is arguably Phillips’ best film and is by far his best directorial effort; take both those statements with as big a grain of salt as you like.

 

To Phillips’ credit, he never beats us over the head with any message here. He lets the audience decide for themselves when our main characters have crossed the moral line of no return, and if what the U.S. government is doing by holding open contracts is ethically alright. He for the most part balances his comedy and serious moments with surprising finesse, even if there are times an unfunny joke is played up to an awkward degree.

 

This film would be nothing, however, without two time-Academy Award nominee Jonah Hill (I just love typing that). Hill steals the show by playing a money-hungry gun runner who will not flinch at the idea of selling his own mother for a nickel. The entire film we get the uneasy feeling he could snap at any second and his laugh, a half chuckle partnered with a sinister grin and gleam in his eye, brings some very hardy laughs early on, even if by the end Phillips realized this was Hill’s bread and butter and milks the laugh dry.

 

What holds “War Dogs” back is its middle portion. After Hill and Teller (as charming as ever but never rises above serviceable) set up their company and make their first big arms deal, the film takes its foot off the gas and it shows. We see Teller with his new baby and Hill trying to make his gun running business legit, and you just want to shake the two and yell for them to get back to driving around foreign countries with illegal merchandise in the trunk (which they eventually do).

 

I didn’t love “War Dogs” but I was never bored, and every scene Hill is in it is impossible to take your eyes off the screen. It may not be able to carry the same amount of high energy throughout the entire film that it shows flashes of throughout, but if you just want a film with enough chuckles and brain to coast by an August evening (you know, in the DOG days of summer!!), then this may be your ticket.

 

Critics Rating: 6/10

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

‘Fantastic Bore’ Is Frustratingly Awful

Fantastic_Four_2015_posterI am at a loss for words on how uneventful this movie is, so no time for a clever opening. Let’s just get right into this evisceration.

“Fantastic Four” is the latest attempt to reboot the Marvel Comics team of the same name, and stars Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara and Jamie Bell as Mr. Fantastic, the Human Torch, the Invisible Woman and The Thing, respectively. [Normally this is where I would insert a brief plot summary, but truly this film is so massively uneventful that I couldn’t give you a storyline if I tried]. Josh Trank, who directed “Chronicle,” directs and co-writes here.

Right from its conception, this film was a mess. It was no secret that Sony made it simply to hold onto the rights, and then there are plenty of stories of Trank showing up on set stoned and drunk, or not showing up at all (for legal reasons, I should say “allegedly”). Then they had to do extensive reshoots, which are painfully obvious due to haircuts/wigs and awkward dialogue dubs. In all honesty, look up all the behind-the-scenes drama involving the director and producers; it is 100x more entertaining than the movie they ended up creating.

On top of those red flags, ear-piercing alarms should have been sounding when it was announced the film wouldn’t allow reviews to be posted until the day before release (which is as sure a sign that a movie is terrible as dark clouds mean it’s going to rain), and lead actor Miles Teller saying that none of the stars had seen the finished film, and that “rarely are films of this size critically well received”. That’s…comforting.

Boy, halfway done with this review and all I’ve done is give reasons why we all thought it would fail. Where are my manners? Who knows? Maybe all the reshoots and on-set tension created something truly special, and we were worrying for nothing! (We weren’t, though, this movie is awful)

I truly, honestly, sincerely have no idea where to begin. I am genuinely at a loss for words, and that isn’t a great thing to be considering my God-given talent (and livelihood) is putting pen to paper. I guess we can start with how badly they botched the amazing cast. I am a huge Miles Teller fan; I’ve had a man-crush on him ever since “21 & Over.” But here? Oh boy, did Trank and Co. try their very hardest to make him awful. The entire cast, in fact; they’re all talented young actors who together have no chemistry. I hate to compare this to the 2005 film because I think reboots should be judged on their own accord, but say what you will about the old F4 films, at least the four members seemed like they were friends.

Next is the “plot.” If you’ve seen the trailer you’ve seen the film. I remember watching the trailers and every time I would think, “this looks like it’s spliced from just three scenes, what’s the plot?” And I was right to question; there is no plot. What shred of a narrative there is revolves around the group building an interdimensional transportation device (because simply going to space nowadays is too mainstream), getting their powers, and then everything kind of rushes an oh-my-god awful ending.

Seriously, though, the ending to this movie is just…I don’t even know. To steal a quote from Michael Scott: “It’s simply beyond words. It’s incalculable”. The first third of the film is innocent enough, showing a young Teller trying to crack all the science, and then there’s a few (I stress, A FEW) interesting and fun moments. Then they get their powers by traveling to “Planet Zero” (named after how much interest I had left in the film by this point) and Trank treats it like a horror film, which for a second I liked. The idea of finding your one friend burning alive and another trapped in a pile of rocks is enough to break a psyche. But then they skip ahead a year (because who wants to watch them struggle and learn to control their new powers, right?) and everything gets worse. You get bored and the film goes nowhere.

Then the climax happens, and oh my God. I didn’t think it was possible to have negative amount of suspense or emotional attachment to a film, but give “Fantastic Four” credit because it did just that. When Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell) arrives to be the villain (after all, with a name like that, he had a limited pool of career choices), you don’t care. There is one fun tracking shot of him walking down a hallway and he makes everyone he passes’ head explode, but then he engages in a horrible CGI battle with the Four. And you just. don’t. care.

Look, I could go on for days about why this movie is awful, but my head may just explode like one of those poor people Dr. Doom strolls past. The film plays out as one big (boring) trailer for future films, which, based on critical and fanboy reception, I doubt we’ll ever see, and it’s adorable the filmmakers thought they ever would. “The Incredibles” remains the only truly good Fantastic Four film, and this makes the 2005 film and its sequel look like “The Dark Knight.”

I thought critic Ben Mankiewicz’s description of the film perfectly sums everything up: “it feels like the first episode of a TV series that you are certain to not watch the second episode of.” Amen, brother. “Fantastic Four” is not fun, it’s not exciting and it’s certainly not good. Just go plop yourself down in front of the dryer for an hour 45; you’ll get more entertainment and odds are more character development than this film could ever offer.

Critics Rating: 2/10

Variety

Variety

Simmons and Editing Stand Out in ‘Whiplash’

Whiplash_poster               I’m telling ya, man, editors don’t get enough respect.

“Whiplash” stars Miles Teller as a young drummer who enrolls in the number one music school in the country. Upon arrival he is met by a cutthroat teacher (J.K Simmons) who goes to extremes to try and get the best out of his students. Damien Chazelle writes and directs.

“Whiplash” has three things about it that really make it work: the editing, Miles Teller and J.K. Simmons. Without these three components it may have just been another small-time movie that is quickly forgotten. However with these two actors and an amazing editing job by Tom Cross, “Whiplash” is elevated to one of the best films of 2014.

It’s impossible not to love Miles Teller. Even in meh films such as “Two Night Stand” or “21 and Over” he shines, and his charisma and likability improve the film itself. In “Whiplash”, he gives arguably his best performance to date, as he keeps the same quick wit and amusing one-liners, but also delves into dramatic, almost depressing territory. His character is so torn and determined to be the best drummer possible that he shuns out everyone around him and practices to the point that his fingers bleed (literally).

As good as Teller is, however, the real stand out is J.K. Simmons. His character goes from calm and inspiring one second to screaming and verbally abusing the next. Like we’re talking “Wolf of Wall Street”-string-five-swear-words-into-one-sentence verbal abuse. Simmons is like Sergeant Hartman from “Full Metal Jacket” and Simmons’ J. Jonah Jameson had a love child; he has his funny moments and his rants can be entertaining to the audience, but at the same time you are thankful he is not the man in your life who is in charge of giving you orders.

The editing in the film is what really deserves praise, however. The whole movie is cut like a jazz performance, with quick jumps from one character’s face to another, from one instrument to the next. The film’s finale wears on a tad bit too long, however it is so smoothly put together that is does not drag; if anything, it will leave you leaning in your seat for more reason than one.

Writer/director Damien Chazelle first made “Whiplash” as a short film in 2013, and his script landed on the Black List, the best unproduced screenplays in Hollywood. He does a great job transferring his short onto the big screen, and his screenplay features a little bit of everything. You want humor? Simmons’ monologues and Teller’s charm will have you chuckling. You want thrills? When Teller goes up on stage you are just as nervous as he is because you know if he screws up Simmons will tear him apart. You want romance? Teller awkwardly asks a girl out who is then seen in only one more scene, but hey, it’s in there!

“Whiplash” is a film that is career-defining for young guns Teller and Chazelle, as well as veteran character actor Simmons. They all bring something different and special to the table, and when combined together the end product is engaging and intense, especially when you throw in some amazing editing. Sorry to continue and bring that up but seriously. It’s that good.

Critics Rating: 8/10